Fire
by dabbling
Summary: This is a rewrite of Purgatory. It could have ended very differently.
1. Chapter 1

Fire

* * *

A/N This is a rewrite of Purgatory. It could have ended very differently.

* * *

A/N2: I know, I know, you are all waiting so patiently for me to finish the two that have been hanging in the ether and here I am getting you started on another unfinished story. Well, it's like this. I have a lot of irons in the fire. And my muse tells me to work on this one or that one or sometimes the one over there. And some of them are total garbage and will never see the light of day. But some, like this one, have potential. So if you can stand to see me beat up Bobby one more time ( I know, I know!) it's possible that your input will help me bring one of my stories to completion! I hope everyone is doing well, BTW. I miss hearing from you like when I was completely obsessed with writing. Okay, got your seat belt on? Here we go!

* * *

Goren helped Stoat wrestle Hector out of bed and hauled him back to Testarosa's office. Bobby frisked the man, found a lighter and lied about it. "All right, he's clean," he said as he gently set the lighter on the counter.

"Did you cut a deal with the cops?" Testarosa asked.

"Me? These are your guys. I'm two blocks away, I get pulled over?!" Hector was more terrified than he was angry.

Testarosa nodded to Stoat. The man walked up and punched Hector square in the face.

"Did you?!" Testarosa insisted. "Well, then that should have taught you to keep your mouth shut!"

"I didn't say nothin' to nobody!"

"The DA bailed you out, is that it?" Stoat punched him again, and again until he had to shake the pain from his knuckles. The boss pulled out a gun and aimed it at Hector. "Did you make a deal with the cops?"

He denied it again. Stoat found the lighter, wrenched it open, and found the mic hidden inside.

Testarosa threatened Hector. "You think I'm stupid?"

Bobby saw what Stoat was doing, and broke into a cold sweat. His heart was pounding in his ears.

"Hey," Mike Stoat said. "His lighter. He's wired." Both criminals turned to Goren.

"You said he was clean," said Testarosa.

"Yeah, I missed it." Bobby shrugged and tried to play it cool.

"Okay…" Testarosa nodded at Stoat once more. "Then he's your problem. You take care of him."

Goren nodded, and Stoat stepped across the room. The boss looked at Goren in anticipation. "What… now?!" asked Bobby.

"Yeah. Now."

"Here," Goren said, thinking the office was a stupid place to make a mess.

Stoat rolled a sheet of plastic across the floor.

"Right here," said Testarosa.

Mike challenged Bobby with his eyes and crossed the floor again. Bobby slowly walked over and grabbed Hector by the arms. "Get up!" He ordered. Hector started to plead for his life. "Shut up," Bobby menaced quietly. Hector sobbed. Bobby put the gun against his face.

With his heart thrumming in his ears, Bobby knocked Hector down hard, spun, and shot Stoat's gun-arm just as the man would have fired on Hector. A white-hot fire went through Goren's back, and it seemed to yank the breath from his body as it ripped through his chest. He fell to his knees like a stone, and toppled forward, trying like hell to breathe.

The door burst open, and he heard Eames saying "Drop it." Her voice said there would be no bargaining. "Drop it, now."

Bobby tried to blink the tears from his eyes as his chest gurgled and blood dripped from his mouth.

"Clear!" Eames shouted, from across the room where Testarosa was now handcuffed in her grasp.

"Detective Eames!" Daniels said urgently.

A pair of uniforms took Testarosa from her grip and she turned. Shock and fear washed over her face. She recognized the man bleeding under Daniels' firm pressure. Alex raced to him and knelt beside him, snaking her smaller hands under to try and put pressure on his chest. "Help's on the way, Bobby. It's all right, you hear me? You hear me? Hang on, Bobby, help's coming."

It was only a half a minute longer before the EMTs rushed in. They transferred him to a stretcher and whisked him out. Eames stumbled a few steps after him, and then stopped. She looked at his blood on her hands. Then her gaze rose and met Daniels'. Tears welled in her eyes.

"They got to him quickly," said Daniels. "They can save him, Eames."

She pivoted in a slow circle as she watched the team of patrol officers surrounding her take their prisoners out of the crime scene. She looked at the bloody plastic on the floor, terrified at the volume of it. She was stunned. "I didn't… I didn't even know he was undercover."

"Go to the hospital, be with him," Daniels suggested.

Eames spun and searched the room with her eyes. She took a deep breath and made a decision. "No. They're gonna have to take him to surgery… nothing I can do there, anyway…" Another ragged breath filled her lungs, and she fought back the tears again. "I'm gonna find out what the hell happened."


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

Chapter 2

Even after three hours on the scene, and another 40 minutes' drive to the hospital, Bobby wasn't out of surgery. She met with a very tired-looking Captain Ross in a waiting room that was far too bright. Alex's eyes asked him the question.

"Nothing yet," Ross said.

She bit her lower lip and sank into a vinyl chair. "Well, that's good, right? He's still alive."

Ross nodded silently. "Eames," he said quietly. "Is there anyone Bobby would want…? Your name was his only emergency contact."

She blinked and shook her head slowly, thinking. Her brow furrowed. "Lewis. Bobby's friend Lewis…" She searched her pocket for her phone and pulled it out, searching the numbers. Ross was doing the same with the phone in his hand. Alex paused, cocked her head. "That's Bobby's phone."

"Mmm-hmm." Ross pushed a button and spun away from her. "Mr. Ruzicki, you're a good friend of Detective Robert Goren? I'm his Captain, Danny Ross. Bobby's been shot. We're at the O.R. 3 waiting room in St. Vincent's hospital. Yeah. All right." He ended the call and turned back, only to find Eames looking angrily at him.

"You knew he was… under? You knew?!"

Ross handed her Bobby's phone. He nodded slowly.

"W-why didn't you tell me? Why didn't he-?!"

"He was under my orders. This was a sensitive operation, Eames, involving active and former members of NYPD. I couldn't take the chance that somebody would make him."

"But you could take a chance with his life!" Tears filled her eyes, and made wet streaks as they slipped down her cheeks.

"He knew the risk."

"He was desperate to get back in! You took advantage of him!"

Ross shook his head. "I know it seems that way, Eames, but we discussed it. We discussed it all. He knew what he was stepping into."

Anger, cold and hard, set in her face. "I'm his partner!"

"He was following orders. From the top."

"Moran? Fucking Moran?!"

"Look, Detective, you're worried and under stress right now. I don't think this is the time to discuss it."

Tears fell in drops from her face. "This is probably exactly what he was hoping would happen!" She scowled.

"That kind of talk will land you in a heap of trouble of your own," Ross warned. "I'm going for a cup of coffee. I'll get you one, too." He stepped out of the waiting room quickly, leaving her to shed angry tears alone.

A few minutes later, Lewis stepped in. "Detective Eames," he said quietly, a sorrowful expression on his face.

She blinked and looked up from her chair at him. It was the first time he'd addressed her so formally. Usually Lewis called her Detective Alex.

Lewis was terrified. "Is he…?"

Alex wiped her eyes with her hands and sniffed. "No, he's-he's still in surgery. We haven't heard anything yet." She smiled at Lewis. "He's still alive," she said.

Lewis breathed a sigh of relief. "Thank God." He fell into the chair beside her and held open his arms. Eames let him hold her.

When Ross returned, Alex sat up. Lewis took her cue and did the same. She introduced them, and there was small talk about the time he'd come in as an expert on one of their cases. Ross remembered Lewis. Lewis remembered Ross, from both meeting him and talking with his best friend.

"Anything?" the Captain asked.

Alex shook her head. Ross handed her a coffee cup and apologized to Lewis for not bringing a third.

"It's all right, I'm fine," Lewis said.

After another hour, a weary looking figure walked in. He scanned the nearly empty room and made eye contact with the three people in attendance. "You're for Robert Goren?" he asked.

Lewis steadied Alex and held his arm around her as they stood. She nodded. "Yes," she said.

"We pulled him through the surgery," the Doctor said. "The next 24 hours will tell us a lot. He's weak, but stable at the moment. Once they get him out of recovery, he'll be in intensive care. You can see him there." He went on to explain the damage they'd repaired and the risks Bobby was facing. Once again, he reminded them that the next 24 hours were critical.

They pulled themselves together and moved down the hall to the ICU. Alex stopped at the bathroom to freshen up, and they found themselves in a new waiting room.

"They'll let us know when he's settled in," Ross said, coming back from the nurse's station.

"Captain, I appreciate that you've stayed."

He looked at Goren's longtime partner. He gave her a sober nod, and then went to stare at the television running in the corner.

In another 30 minutes, they were notified of his room number. Lewis stayed close to Eames as they walked down the hall. Bobby lay in room 14, a ventilator doing his breathing for him and a heart monitor blipping steadily beside him.

He was unconscious, and quite pale. Thanks to the machine, his chest rose and fell, and his heart was still beating. Alex took his fingers in hers and leaned over him, looking at the dark circles around his closed eyes. "You did good, Bobby," she told him. "You're still here. Bobby, Lewis and the Captain and I, we've all been waiting to see you. You're doing great. Don't worry about it, okay? I know you're feeling pretty rotten, but you're strong. You can get through this, okay?" A tear fell on the back of her hand, and she choked a little.

Lewis put his left arm around her waist and put his right hand over her hand. He held her and Bobby's hands together. "You're gonna be fine, Bobby," he said. "You're a fighter."

Ross couldn't think of a thing to say. He moved closer to Bobby's other side and squeezed the big man's arm. "Keep it up, Detective," he said uncomfortably. After a moment's silence, Ross stiffened. "I've got to, uh, go check on my boys."

Alex offered him a pained smile. Ross shook Lewis' hand and touched Eames on the shoulder. "You'll call me, if there's any change?"

She nodded. "Of course. Thank you, Captain," she said quietly, all her earlier anger forgotten. She turned back to find Lewis petting Bobby's curls, a far-away look in his eyes.

When Ross had gone, Lewis realized she was watching him. He pulled his hand away and stuffed them into his pockets. He cleared his throat. "This is… hard," he whispered.

Alex stroked Bobby's still fingers and kept her eyes on Lewis.

"When we were kids, you know, I… I used to pretend he was my brother." He shrugged and looked at her sheepishly. "I had three sisters, you know. And my Dad died, and… kinda… outnumbered."

"He is your brother, Lewis. In spirit, anyway. I know Bobby feels the same about you."

Lewis pulled out a hand to push his glasses up on his nose. Then he put his hand over his mouth. He struggled sadly for a moment, and then the man cried.

Alex let go of Bobby's hand and opened her arms to his best friend.

Lewis sobbed quietly, desperately trying to rein in his emotions. Finally, he pulled away. He swiped his glasses off with one hand and wiped his eyes with the crook of his elbow. Then he replaced his glasses. "We, uh… we should take it in shifts. You know… long night ahead."

"Sure. I'll take first watch," she told him.

"I'll, uh… I'll be in the waiting room." He jerked his thumb behind them. Then he patted Bobby's shoulder. "Good night, brother," he said quietly before walking out.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

Alex woke every time the nurses came in to do their work. She woke every time she imagined he was waking. She woke every time she had the dream, the one where he was bleeding on the plastic on the floor.

Only thing was, that one wasn't really a dream. It was a memory, and the beginning of a nightmare. She was fending off a headache with fingers to temples when Lewis returned. It wasn't even 7 a.m. yet.

"I can take over here," he told her. "The couch in the waiting room isn't bad, at least you can stretch out."

Alex said nothing, but continued to rub the sides of her head.

"Anything?" Lewis asked.

"No. Not yet," Alex replied wearily. "He's still stable. The nurses say that's a very good thing." Alex let go of her head and took Bobby's hand. She massaged the meaty part of his palm.

"Go. You need the rest. I'll be here," Lewis promised.

She was quiet. She continued moving her fingers on Bobby's hand. "I just feel like I don't want to leave him, you know?" She looked Lewis' way.

He nodded. "I know. I'll be here," he repeated. "I'll come for you if there's any change."

She squeezed Bobby's hand one last time and left him in Lewis' care.

* * *

The first four hours, Alex slept like a stone. She was beyond exhausted. It hadn't been easy to relax enough to fall asleep, but mercifully, she fell hard when she did. She checked her phone and found no messages. She went to the bathroom and peeked through doorway enough to see Bobby still sleeping, and Lewis still by his side. She went back to the waiting room and spent the next three hours drifting in and out of nightmares.

Finally, she gave up on sleep entirely and went back to Bobby's room, working the kinks in her back with her hands.

"He almost woke once, but they sedated him. They said he's better off this way right now, that patients usually don't like the idea of a vent and the last thing they want is for him to fight the machine."

Alex took the information in, nodding.

"You didn't sleep?"

Alex shrugged and stretched her back again. "I tried." She studied Bobby carefully, putting together what she knew from the crime scene with what she could see in front of her.

Testarosa had shot him. He'd managed to save Hector's life and to disarm Stoat, but the bullet that had ripped through Bobby's chest had come from Testarosa's gun. It had been deflected by his shoulderblade, changed direction and torn through his lung, narrowly missing his large blood vessels and thankfully, his heart.

He was lucky, really. But he did have a hole in his right lung, and along with that came a host of nasty possibilities.

Alex fought back the urge to cry. She reached out and petted his arm, her mind whirling. _Why didn't you tell me you were undercover?_

She couldn't help feeling that he didn't trust her. If he'd trusted her, he would have told her he was undercover. He would have kept her in the loop, even if she couldn't have changed anything about it.

Alex closed her eyes and drew in a shaky breath. _God, anything could have happened in there! What if she'd had to take him down herself?!_ Her eyes drifted over his sedated body for the thousandth time. _He could have been killed._

The lack of contact from the NYPD brass was grating against her, too. She thought of Moran, and how things went down when Bobby was suspended. She thought of all the review boards, one per month, for the last five months, that Bobby had endured, only to be told once again that he was not yet cleared for duty.

Moran hated Goren. And the Chief of D's seemed to be enjoying punishing Bobby. Alex had half a mind to write a letter to the Chief, telling him just what she thought of the support he was showing his wounded officer.

Ross had said the order came from him, but Alex knew Moran was behind it. Moran wanted Bobby undercover, and he didn't care if he died on the job.

An alarm sounded on one of the machines, and Alex was jolted to attention. She squeezed Bobby's hand, her heart in a panic, her eyes searching his body, trying to assess the problem.

The team raced in and after a few minutes, and adjusting a few things, they backed away again. "He's okay," the nurse assured Alex.

Alex nodded uncomfortably and moved back to her place at his side. "W-what happened?" she asked.

"His oxygen was a little low. We adjusted the flow, and his vitals are strong again."

A tear fell as she nodded again. Alex wiped it away. She wasn't sure how much more of this she could take.

"Listen, uhm, Ms. Eames? He's gonna sleep for quite a while. Sometimes it helps to talk to a friend."

"Lewis is trying to get some sleep so he can sit with Bobby tonight."

"Isn't there anyone for _you?_ "

Alex's head wobbled in surprise. She needed someone? Bobby was fighting for his life, and they thought she needed help? She blinked.

"I've been on this floor for a long time. It helps," the woman explained.

"I c-can… call my sister, I guess."

* * *

By 3:00 that afternoon, Alex was crying in her sister's arms. Liz tried to reassure her that Bobby would be all right.

"He's still with us," she told her.

They pulled a second chair up beside the bed. Alex and Liz found themselves passing the time by telling stories of Bobby's antics over the years. He wasn't a part of the Eames family, but he had been a presence in her life for long enough that he'd taken part in many family events.

Lewis stumbled in and smiled to see the two women chuckling.

"Lewis, this is my sister Liz."

Lewis shook her hand and pushed his glasses up his nose. "How is he?" he asked.

Alex smiled. "Still sedated, but they say he's better."

Lewis rubbed his hand over his hair. "Ugh," he grunted. "I feel like I haven't showered in a week."

"You could go home a while, come back later."

He shook his head. "Why don't you do that? I've been resting a while."

Alex looked at Bobby, but then her sister touched her hand and gave her an intense look. "I think it's a good idea," Liz told her.

Alex sighed and looked back at Bobby once again. "Okay. Okay. But Lewis, you call me if—"

"I will. I'll call you without hesitation."

Awkwardly, she bent down and kissed Bobby's temple. Then she gave Lewis a kind of a hug and she and her sister left the hospital.


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4

Bobby was heavily sedated for days after the shooting. Even if he'd had the desire to wake, the drugs kept him from doing so. Lewis and Alex continued to stay at his bedside the majority of the time, but life demanded they take care of business, as well. Lewis went to the shop for a few hours each day, and his apartment briefly. Alex worked half-time at Major Case, visited her apartment, and then went back to Bobby. She read to him until her throat got dry and her voice started to give out. Then she would sit and watch old movies on the television until she started to doze in the bedside chair. The next day, it would begin again.

Today was Thursday, six days since the shooting. She went to 1PP and showered. Then she worked at her desk until she saw Ross come in. Alex took a deep breath and went to knock on the Captain's door.

"Eames, come in," he called.

She closed the door behind her.

"Something on your mind?" he asked.

"Actually, sir… yes."

Ross' eyes widened and he gestured to the chair in front of his desk. Alex walked over and lowered herself to the seat.

"Captain, I've been doing a lot of thinking… I just can't understand why I had to be left out of the loop."

"You're talking about Goren."

"Yes, sir. He's my partner. I've been by his side for years! Captain, he could have died!"

"He knew the risk."

"What?!"

"He knew what he was getting himself into."

"Don't give me that. Of course he knew, we all know what this job is. But sir, did he have ANY backup? At all? And why couldn't that have been me?"

"Eames… it was you."

"I had no idea—"

"Your team was his backup."

She was seething. Her voice trembled as she spoke. "All I knew was we had a mole with a wire. I had no idea the mole was Bobby. Hell, Cap, you didn't even clue me in to wear the phones!"

"Your team handled it."

She was completely unhappy with the direction of the conversation. "Excuse me for asking, sir, but I'd like to hear it from you. Why?"

Ross frowned, closed his eyes, and drew in a long, slow breath. When he opened his eyes, she was waiting for him to answer.

"Bobby was adrift, Eames. At the will of the tide. He wanted to get back, but there was nothing, no way for him to do it. When he stumbled upon Stoat, I saw it as an opportunity for him. I was trying to help him."

"That still doesn't explain why you couldn't tell me, why he couldn't tell me."

"Moran heard the name Testarosa and he damned near wet himself. He was delighted to have Goren in Testarosa's den. I knew Bobby could handle himself."

"Sir-!"

"Eames, if you can look at me and tell me honestly that you would have been able to back Goren up without a mention of how the Chief felt about the whole thing, then I'll—"

"Captain-!" Alex started to protest, but then she realized he was right. She would have said something to Bobby about Moran. He'd nearly gotten killed with his head screwed on straight; she couldn't imagine what would have happened if he'd been burning with rage when it all went down. Alex frowned and nodded for a long time. "Okay. Okay. Thank you." She got up and walked out of the office, looking haunted.

* * *

When she returned to the hospital, Bobby was once again off the ventilator, an addition they'd made after a couple of days of his oxygen level crashing. The fact they expected him to breathe on his own was encouraging.

She sat beside him and watched him sleep, wishing she could see his brown eyes looking into hers again. With a sigh, Alex picked up her book and started to read aloud to him once more.

She'd almost gotten used to his wheezing, but this noise was a new one. Alex peered over the pages of the novel to find him grimacing. "Bobby?!" She asked, excited.

He groaned, and then whimpered.

"Bobby, come on, wake up. I'm right here."

He sputtered a little, and then his pain-filled eyes sprung open.

Alex smiled more than she had in weeks. "Hey," she said gently, her face full of affection.

His chocolate eyes closed again and he groaned once more in pain.

"I'll call the nurse," she told him, and fumbled until her fingers found the call button. A moment later, a team arrived in the room.

"He's awake, and he's in pain," Alex told them.

"Mr. Goren, good to see you," said one nurse as she quickly recorded his vitals. The other made an adjustment to something attached to his IV, and they asked him questions about how he was feeling, the intensity of the pain, and listened to his chest through a stethoscope.

Bobby groaned again. Sympathetically, one nurse said, "I know, honey, I've just increased your pain medication. The doctor wanted to give you a chance to come out of it before we medicated you again. You're doing beautifully. Your vitals are strong."

Alex was so happy she nearly cried. She stepped in and wrapped her fingers around his, and was overjoyed when she felt him give her a little squeeze. Bobby's wheezing became a hitch, which turned into a cough, which in turn cascaded him with pain. In seconds he was unconscious again.

Alex looked to the nurses in alarm.

"It's okay. He needs to cough, even if it hurts. I put a call in to Dr. Mertz. He'll advise us on whether we should continue with the sedation. I know it was frightening, but this is a very good sign. Your partner is improving."

Alex couldn't stop the smile from blooming on her face.

Bobby's voice came in miserable squeaks and groans. He wasn't conscious, exactly, but he was aware enough that he could feel the pain. He felt like someone had lit a torch inside his chest and left it there to burn. He wanted to do something, to push the flames away, but he was so weak he could barely move his fingers.

"Bobby, that's it, come on," his friend said. Lewis was standing over him, watching Bobby struggle with consciousness. He grasped Bobby's hand, hoping the contact would provide some kind of motivation.

He groaned again, a little louder this time. Goren coughed, and mercilessly, the fire grew. He opened his eyes suddenly.

Lewis grinned. "That's it, Bobby, that's it. You're okay, see? You're in a hospital. You're okay."

Bobby was hurting so badly that at Lewis' words, he rolled his eyes and tried to pull his fingers away from the man at his bedside.

"It hurts, I know. But you can handle it now."

Bobby groaned again.

"Really, Bobby, you're so much stronger now."

Bobby's eyes were bright from the pain. He blinked at Lewis and privately wished for someone to put him out of his misery.

"It's just until the doctor comes to get a look at you. Then they'll dope you up again." Lewis took Bobby's hand again. "I promise, man."

Bobby tried to sigh, but coughed instead. A tear fell from his eye when the episode was over. Lewis found a cool washcloth and wiped the tears away, then gently cleaned his face and neck.

Bobby was in so much pain he couldn't appreciate the care his friend was giving him. He managed to move his lips and spoke for the first time since he was shot. "Fuck."

"I know, Bobby. It won't be long, now." It was tearing Lewis up to see him this way. He hadn't expected it to be so painful for Bobby. He glanced back at the doorway, hoping to get a glimpse of the Doctor and his entourage of students.

"Lewis."

"Yeah, Bobby?"

His voice failed and he only managed a weak whisper. "Eames?"

"She'll be here later. She's been here with you every day, Bobby. We take it in shifts."

Bobby tried to wrap his head around thoughts of his friends rather than the fire in his chest. The effort was only successful for a few seconds. He coughed again and moaned when he had regained his breath.

Mercifully, the doctor arrived, and after a short exam, Bobby was given a heavy dose of painkillers. Lewis watched his face relax. He patted his hand. "You're doing great, Bobby. You're a fighter," he breathed.


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5

Lewis told Alex what Bobby said, and she chuckled. He rarely cursed, and never without good reason. It was proof that he was still in there somewhere, even though he was badly hurt.

"I hope I get to talk to him, too," she said quietly. Lewis gave her a hug and headed for his shop. He had a few hours of work to put in before he could call it a night.

Alex tried her best to brush his hair. She straightened the cannula under his nose and ran her hand along his cheek, which was smooth since Lewis had shaved him. Satisfied that she'd done what she could to make him comfortable, she settled into the chair beside the bed and continued reading where she'd left off the night before.

An hour or so later, she was interrupted by his coughing. Then, as she lowered the book to her lap, she heard a curse fly from his lips.

"Hi, Bobby," Alex said with a grin.

He pushed the pain from the forefront of his mind and tried to focus his eyes on her. He studied the way she looked. It had been 5 months since he'd gone on suspension and he had barely seen her in that time.

Everything about her was familiar. He felt her fingers caressing his, and reflexively, he grasped them. It still felt like his chest was on fire, but Alex's presence was like a cooling salve. He summoned his strength and croaked out, "Eames." He squeezed her hand.

Alex smiled again. "About time you started talking. You have a lot of explaining to do," she teased him.

"Sorry," he whispered, and shook his head.

"No, Bobby, I'm kidding. You have nothing to apologize for. You did your job."

He closed his eyes wearily. "Testarosa?" He asked her.

"Looking at life in prison for shooting you. Stack the other charges, he'll never get out."

"He wanted me to kill—"

"Hector is fine. You saved his life, Bobby. And Stoat got stitched up and is trying to make bail as we speak."

Bobby coughed again. He writhed until the fit had passed, then relaxed against his pillow. "I… wanted to tell you… to warn you…" Bobby stopped, licked his lips, and swallowed. "I couldn't take the chance."

"Bobby, you don't have to explain."

"It was… my only… way back," he continued, ignoring what she'd said.

Alex stroked his fingers gently. "Shhhh… doesn't matter now. We're here together, Bobby, that's all that matters."

He quieted under her touch, and soon he was asleep again. Alex sat back and sighed. She thought about what he'd said, and her anger at the Chief flared up again.

For the first time in her career, she thought about quitting. Alex looked at Bobby, weak and fighting for his life, and then she thought of Chief Moran and her blood boiled. There was no honor in what had happened to Bobby. She had always prided herself on the fact that her job required a certain measure of integrity. She had personally done her best to maintain a high standard for herself, but with the Chief of Detectives practically throwing the finest detective she'd ever known into the lion's den… it left a bittersweet taste in her mouth.

Of course she was glad they had collared Testarosa and Stoat. For Bobby's sake, she was glad of that. But she was powerless against the Chief, who had orchestrated the whole mess.

Lack of power was something that did not sit well with Alex Eames.

* * *

He was in a lot of pain. Bobby was suffering, and honestly, he wasn't very nice about it.

Every other word he managed to cough out was a curse. He'd tried to throw Lewis out, and even once uttered the words at Eames, but he regretted them as soon as he'd said them.

He'd tried to manage an apology, but the pain was too much. He'd simply clutched desperately at her fingers, his eyes squeezed shut and a grimace on his face while he only managed to sputter, "I'm—I'm—I didn't…"

"It's okay, Bobby. I'm not going anywhere," she reassured him. Alex stayed with him until he got another dose of morphine. The only times he slept was when he got his morphine. The rest of the time, the pain interfered with his rest. She watched him relax and then stepped into the hall, pulling out her cell phone.

"Hi, Lewis," she said quietly. "He's just had his pain medicine, and he's finally sleeping."

"Good," Lewis grunted.

"I know he told you to leave, but I think you should come back."

"Is he okay?"

"Yeah, the same. But Bobby's just so miserable he doesn't realize how… harsh he's being. Besides, I need you."

"You, Detective Alex?"

She grinned at his flirty tone. "Yes, Lewis. I need you."

"I'll be there in an hour."

"Thanks."

* * *

Bobby coughed and awoke to an intense burning pain in his lung. He blinked away the involuntary tears and saw Lewis standing before him. Lewis grabbed a couple of tissues out of the box and wiped his face for him, careful not to dislodge the cannula under his nose.

Bobby blinked and stared, and almost smiled at his friend.

"Hey," Lewis said in greeting. "Alex went to get something to eat, so you're stuck with me for a while."

"Thanks, Lewis."

"The nurses said you need to cough, that it will keep you from getting pneumonia."

Bobby processed the words, thought of the pain, and closed his eyes. "Fuck that," he grumbled.

"You can say that, but I don't think you're gonna have much choice."

As if to illustrate Lewis' point, Bobby tried to suppress a cough only to have it bubble up and consume him anyway. Once the cough subsided, he groaned in misery.

Lewis wiped his face again. "Sorry, man. I know it sucks."

Bobby looked away for a few minutes, grimacing. "Medicine?" he asked.

Lewis shook his head.

"It fucking hurts," Goren complained.

"I know, man."

"Then tell the Goddamn—" Bobby raised his voice too much and was taken over by another fit of coughs. The fit ended with a deep groan.

"Here," Lewis told him, and held out a cup of water with a straw sticking out the top. "Maybe this will help."

Bobby glared at him, but he was afraid to speak, for fear he would cough again. When Lewis held the tip of the straw to his lips, he took a tentative drink. The cool water felt good in his mouth, and he accepted another sip.

Lewis filled the next hour with chatter about classic cars that were in the shop, and even though Bobby still felt awful, it helped. Mercifully, the nurse brought his next dose of morphine. The pain left, and the tension with it. Bobby slept.

Lewis sat back in the chair and studied his friend with worried eyes. He was exhausted. His throat was dry from all the talking. His butt was starting to go numb from sitting still in the chair. Lewis got to his feet, gave Bobby's forearm a squeeze, and went for a walk around the hospital.


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 6

"I don't know how to thank you, Lewis. How is he?"

Lewis shrugged. "About the same."

Alex sighed a little. "Thank you," she said again, knowing that Bobby had probably used Lewis as a verbal punching bag once again.

"He'll be glad to see you," was all the man said.

Alex simply reached out and hugged him.

"Call me if there's any change," he told her, and headed for home.

* * *

"Why are you… always here?!" Bobby asked her, shaking her out of her thoughts.

"What?" He'd been snippy all day, still battling with the pain and taking it out on everyone else. She assumed he was finally starting to take it out on her.

Bobby bit his lower lip and squeezed his eyes shut for a moment. When he opened them again, he searched her eyes. "You… you're always…" Suddenly it occurred to him that maybe she was always around because he wasn't doing as well as they said he was. "This… it's not good, is it…" he muttered, looking away.

"What the hell are you talking about?" she demanded.

"I'm dying."

"No, you're not."

"It fucking feels like it."

"That's a sign that you're living, Bobby. If you were dying, you would be so out of it you wouldn't know it hurts. And we wouldn't have to put up with your crappy attitude," she added.

He frowned. It was the first time anyone had mentioned his attitude, and leave it to Eames to be the one to do it. She was right, and he knew it, but it didn't make it any easier to hear. "So why don't you leave, then? Go back to 1PP." He coughed, curling up on his side. She grabbed his arm in sympathy and he pulled it away from her fingers. Bobby closed his eyes and mentally wished her away.

"You're right," she said, throwing up her hands. "I should go. You don't want me or Lewis or anybody else around anyway. I'm sure I could find something better to do with my time."

He was trying to stifle another cough, but it got loose in spite of him. This time, he hurt so bad he couldn't shake off her hand. Alex straightened the cannula under his nose and gazed at him with concern until he finally started breathing more easily.

"Didn't mean it… that way," he grunted. "I'm sorry."

She ran her fingers through his slightly sweaty curls. "It's okay, Bobby. It's not like I have anywhere to go, anyway," she admitted.

He drew in a couple of breaths and turned a little more towards her. "What do you mean?"

Alex shrugged, and then she sighed. "I resigned my position. I can't work for Moran any more. Not after what he did to you… to us."

"Are you—?!" The rattle in his chest overcame him again, and he doubled over, coughing. When it was over, he gasped the words in her direction. "You crazy? I can't…!"

"Shhhh, Bobby, don't upset yourself."

"Upset… myself?! You're the one who-"

"Bobby, settle down! I mean it." Her eyes pierced into his, and he quieted, even if he was still upset. "It's done, it's over, and I'm here with you. That's all that matters now."

"But you—"

"I'm all right. I had a little saved up. It'll buy me time to find a job, one that I like."

"You liked Major Case."

"Yeah, well Moran ruined it for me. I've made up my mind, Bobby, so just drop it. You've got more important things to worry about anyway."

He grimaced, and held his breath until another cough bubbled up. "God damn it," he complained.

"I know."

"Eames…"

"Yeah, Bobby."

"Eames." He opened his fingers, reaching for her. She took his hand, and he gave hers a squeeze. "I need you," he whispered.

"I'm here."

Bobby shook his head. "On the job."

"Shhh… we'll see, okay?" She returned her free hand to his curls. He was exhausted from the battle with the pain, and he really needed to sleep again. She wished her touch would soothe him, but nothing seemed to help.

"I don't want you to quit," he said very clearly.

For some reason, the decision that seemed so right the day before now made her heart ache. "Shhh, don't, Bobby. It's… it'll be all right, you'll see."

He was biting his lower lip again. "Fuck," he complained once more, and this time she knew he was referring to his pain. He'd said the F-word about 5 times an hour since becoming more lucid. Normally, it would be the last thing to cross his lips. Bobby's pain left him at a loss for words.

"I'm calling the nurse," she announced, and tried to let go his hand.

"Won't… do any good," he replied, grasping desperately at her fingers. Bobby gulped a breath and found himself coughing again. In the midst of the spasms, Alex got free and left the room.

He turned his head looking for her, and only managed to make himself dizzy and nauseated. "Fuck," he groaned again.

"The doctor isn't going to be happy with me," the nurse announced, but she affixed a new bag of medication to the IV pump.

"Mildred…" Bobby called to her. The woman stopped in her tracks and looked back at him. "You're an angel," he told her. "Thank you."

"I'll get you a wet washcloth," she told him. "Some cool water might do you some good," she said compassionately.

"Thank you," said Alex, taking up his hand again. "Hold on, Bobby. Let the medicine do its work."

"Don't leave me," he whispered to his partner, and tried to squeeze her hand again.

She could feel his strength waning as he tried to grip her hand. The medicine acted quickly, and soon he had drifted out of consciousness.

Alex took the washcloth from Mildred the nurse and gently mopped his brow. She even managed to wipe his sweaty neck before sinking down into the chair with a sigh. Alex held the washcloth against her own face. The ache in her heart had never left since it made its presence known, and she thought about her decision. She thought about what Bobby had said when he found out, and she heard his plea not to leave him. "Fuck," Alex said with a heavy sigh.


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter 7

Lewis returned in the morning, to find Alex sleeping in the chair beside Bobby. With a gentle pat on the shoulder, he woke her. "Want some coffee before you head home?" he offered.

Alex stretched and rubbed her neck. "No, that's okay," she said with a yawn. She covered her mouth and caressed Bobby's hand as she checked him over with her eyes. "What time is it?" she asked.

"Uh, 7:30," Lewis replied.

She rubbed her eyes. "He's still sleeping?" she asked herself.

"Why, what's wrong?"

"Nothing. He was in a lot of pain around midnight, and the nurse gave him a dose of the pain meds. I just thought they would have worn off by now."

Lewis shrugged. "He's exhausted. He hasn't slept well for at least three days."

"Yeah, maybe so."

"You're exhausted, too."

"I'll take care of that later. Sit with him a few, will you?" Lewis gave her a nod, and she left the room, trying desperately to stretch her back as she moved. "Good morning." The nurses looked up from their work to greet her.

"Good morning, Alex."

"Bobby's still sleeping," she told them. "Did he wake up in the night and I missed it?"

One of the nurses punched the keys on the computer keyboard. "No, he's been sleeping soundly."

"Isn't that odd?" She asked. "I mean, the last few nights he hasn't been able to sleep more than a couple of hours without waking."

"His vitals look good," the nurse replied. "He needs the rest. It will help him heal."

"And he's really okay?" Alex asked, searching the woman's face for the truth.

The nurse gave her a reassuring smile. "He's doing as well as can be expected."

"What about that cough?"

"The doctor isn't concerned about it at this point."

Alex nodded and turned back toward Bobby's room. She could see Lewis flipping channels on Bobby's TV, and looking back and forth between the screen and his friend. Alex took a deep breath, which turned into a yawn. Then she turned and walked down the hall to the elevators.

Her cell rang when she was halfway through breakfast. "Hi Liz," Alex said wearily, having read her sister's name on the display.

"How is he?" she asked.

"He's sleeping. And honestly, that scared me. But the nurses say he's all right."

"Poor Bobby. He must be exhausted."

"He's not the only one," Alex muttered, running a hand through her hair.

"Actually, Alex, that's why I called. Do you want me to come get you?"

"What? Why?"

"Look, I know you must be tired. I could come get you, take you home, and then give you a ride back when you've had a chance to rest."

"I can drive," Alex said.

"And fall asleep at the wheel," Liz countered. "Alex, it's been days. And you know you haven't been sleeping well when you do sleep."

"All right, okay. Thanks for the offer."

"Thanks, _but_ …"

"I'm not ready to leave him right now."

"Alex, Dad even offered to sit with him if you want."

Alex smiled. "That's ridiculous."

"We're all worried about… about the both of you."

"I've got Lewis to help," said Alex.

"Well… let me know if you need me, Alex. Please."

"All right, Liz."

* * *

"Where's Eames?"

"She's getting some rest, Bobby. She'll be back later."

He seemed agitated. He shifted uncomfortably and then winced in pain. The small amount of movement left him breathless, which triggered a cough, which started the whole cycle to begin again. At last, he was still and quiet in the bed, but he wore a definite grimace on his face.

"I'm dying," Bobby announced through dry lips.

"No, you're not."

"Feels like it."

Lewis frowned and nodded. He knew Bobby felt like shit. "Look, man, I can get the nurse for you."

He shook his head, frowning. "D'you know she quit?"

"Huh?"

"Eames. Quit. The force."

"What?"

Bobby coughed again, and cursed when it was over.

"What do you mean, she quit?" Lewis asked.

"She told me."

"Well, she never said anything like that to me. You sure you heard her right?"

He gave his friend a sober nod. "Lewis?" Bobby asked after several minutes.

"Yeah, man."

"How bad am I? Really."

"You're gonna be fine, Bobby. They all say so."

He scoffed. "Bullshit."

"It's no bullshit. You took a bad hit, Bobby, and you almost died, but you're way past that now. You're getting stronger all the time. You're gonna be fine."

"When?"

Lewis was surprised by the question. He stumbled over his words for a moment. "Uh, I don't know. But, you know, day by day, one step at a time, you'll get there."

"Wish I was dead," Goren grumbled.

"Say shit like that and they'll send a shrink in here," Lewis warned, and Bobby's expression changed immediately.

"Hurts," he said in his own defense.

"Yeah." Lewis scratched his head. "I know."

"How could she fucking quit like that?" Bobby groaned.

"Sounds like something you should ask her."


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter 8

Dr. Olivet had come by to see him shortly after he was shot, but at that time he was critical. She had stayed by his side for a few minutes, and had spoken briefly with his partner, Eames. She hadn't returned, feeling it was best to stay out of the way so Goren and his friends could support each other.

Now, she'd heard that he was conscious most of the time and in a lot of pain. She'd heard that he was expected to make a full recovery. She drove to the hospital to see him again.

She saw a tall red-haired man leaving the room with a frown on his face. The man gave her a glance, but said nothing. He walked quickly down the hall, and Olivet tentatively stepped forward.

She stared at him through the doorway for a moment. He certainly looked better than the last time, although he was still taking oxygen and a monitor beeped away at his side. She saw him writhe a little in the bed and she saw the grimace on his face.

After another deep breath, she stepped inside.

He saw her. His heart quickened, and thanks to the monitor they both knew it. Goren scowled and looked away.

"Uhm, hello." It seemed as good a way as any to start a conversation.

"They called you," he growled.

She raised an eyebrow. "And why would they do that?"

He writhed again, and winced in pain. "I didn't mean it. It just- fu—" He mashed his lips together and glared at her. "Hurts," he snarled.

"Did you want me to get the nurse?" She offered.

He rolled his eyes and tried to turn over, but only succeeded in hurting himself more. He stifled a cough along with the pain.

"For what it's worth, I'm glad you'll be all right."

"Thank you," he said sarcastically. "You can go, now."

"Is that what you did to your last visitor?"

"What?!" There was fire in his eyes, overriding the pain.

"Snapped at him until he left. I saw him, you know. Tall, red hair?"

"Lewis."

"Oh, that's Lewis?"

Bobby nodded.

"What did you say to him?"  
"I'm sure you already know."

"I know he looked angry."

Bobby's eyes flitted around the room. He regretted what he'd said to his friend, but he didn't like talking to Olivet about it. "Look, Doctor… I don't feel up for a… guest right now."

"It's easier when you're alone, isn't it?"

He turned his head away.

"You don't like to be reminded that there are connections between yourself and other people."

His heart rate increased again, and he bit back the pain as he tried to turn away from her. "Doctor…Olivet…J-just… go now, all right?"

"You're giving up."

His eyes flashed angrily at her, and he looked away just as quickly.

"Your friends, your _partner_ , they've been here, supporting you, making sacrifices for you, and all you want is to drive them away to justify your desire to just quit."

"Are you done yet?!" Goren demanded, and the rattle in his chest gave way to a flurry of coughs.

Olivet could feel her own heart pounding. She took a step back and looked towards the nurse's station, wondering if she should go for help.

He stopped at last, and looked at her with glassy eyes. "I don't…need you to come in here…" he began, "and tell me… what a dick I've been… to Lewis… and to Eames…" He was completely winded at the end of his speech, and he pressed his eyes closed, trying to suppress the tickle in his chest.

"I'm proud of you, Detective."

He looked her way in confusion, and the cough erupted. "W-w-why?" He finally managed to ask.

"Five months suspension… things were looking very bleak, but you took on a dangerous assignment to show just how much the job matters to you. And I heard about what happened, too. How you got shot? You're a hell of a cop, detective. And you aren't gonna give up now, no matter how much it hurts. You didn't give up before, and you won't do it now." Olivet smiled at him proudly. She stepped closer to him. "Now stop acting like an ass to the people who care about you and get the hell out of this hospital bed."

It was out of character for Olivet to talk that way, but she certainly had his attention. Bobby stared at her and thought about what she'd said as he read the sincerity in her eyes. There was more to the message than the words. She was telling him she cared.

"And for the record, nobody asked me to come see you. I came because I wanted to." She stepped closer and gave his hand a firm squeeze before stepping back again. "Do you need the nurse?"

He groaned and moaned out the word "no," then succumbed to a coughing fit.

"Can I call your friend back for you?"

Bobby shook his head. "He'll be back. Like a bad… penny," Bobby spat the words out, but she saw the attempt at a grin and knew he was joking. Olivet gave him an encouraging smile, but he didn't see it. He squeezed his eyes shut and concentrated on breathing and being very still. Within a quarter of an hour, he was asleep.

"Oh, uh… sorry," Lewis said from the doorway. He held a Styrofoam soup container in his hand, complete with a lid on top. A plastic spoon was tucked between his fingers. He started to turn away.

"No, no… Lewis. It's all right."

He lifted his head at the sound of his name. "I'm sorry, do I know you?" he asked, trying to place her face in his memory of times with Bobby.

"I'm sure you don't," she said. She smiled at him and held out her hand. "I'm Doctor Olivet."

Recognition dawned. Bobby had told him about the mandated therapy sessions, and the monthly reports at the review board. "Oh!" He offered her his hand willingly, if a little warily. "N-nice to meet you, Doctor. Bobby has told me about you-your, uh, sessions."

She gave him a genuine smile. "I'm glad to know he has someone to confide in."

Lewis looked down at his feet for a minute, then looked over at Bobby's sleeping form. "Uh, did you get to talk to him at all?"

"He was awake when I got here," she said with a nod. "How is he?"

"Improving. He's in a lot of pain, but that's, uhm, expected, you know…"

She folded her arms across her chest and Lewis sat down on Bobby's other side. He opened the lid on his soup and stirred it with the spoon before tasting it.

"It was funny, you know… when I got here, it was almost as if he expected me."

Lewis raised his eyebrows, but took another bite of the soup before he answered. "Oh?" he said, guarded.

"And I know he… he felt bad about… whatever he said to you…"

"He's hurting. He can't help himself."

"Well. I don't know what happened, but I hope he will give some thought to what I told him."

Lewis ate his soup silently. He wasn't about to say anything that might betray his friend.

"It was good to meet you, Lewis. Nice to put a face to a name. I've got to get going," she said. She offered him her hand, and he gave it a shake.

"Uhm, thanks for coming by," he said kindly, and watched her walk out before sitting back down with his cup of soup.


	9. Chapter 9

Chapter 9

For once, Goren found himself alone. Usually, either Lewis or Eames was in the room with him, and on the rare occasion they weren't, a nurse was. He looked around, verifying for himself that he truly was alone.

The Doctors hadn't given any indication that he was improving. His friends said he was, but it was hard to take that as Gospel truth when he knew they would say anything to try and pull him out of his depression.

The gnawing pain was still there, but sadly, he'd gotten used to it. He expected pain now, and he knew the kinds of movement that would make it flare. Bobby chewed on his bottom lip and made a decision.

He was going to walk, to prove to himself and everyone else that he could. He scooted closer to the edge of the mattress, suppressing the gasp of pain that tried to escape his lips. Gritting his teeth, he raised himself to a sitting position and dropped his feet over the side of the bed.

He knew if he gave himself time, he wouldn't follow through. In one motion, Bobby jerked to his feet and stood. He swayed a little at first. Then he smiled. Goren looked around, saw the IV and the catheter and knew the truth was he had nowhere he could go. Just for the sake of doing it, he took one small step forward and smiled again. Dizzy, he felt a tickle in his chest. He reached back with his shaking left hand, looking for the mattress.

Before he found it, his brain registered the words, "What the hell are you doing?" and he felt her strong arms around him, supporting his weight. Eames guided him back to the bed and he sat, groaning with pain. The pain brought forth a cough, and she kept him from toppling onto the floor.

Alex pushed the call button with one hand while she held him steady with the other.

"What's going on in here?" Demanded Mildred as she raced to her patient.

"When I came in, he was standing by the bed," Alex explained. She helped the nurse with Bobby until he was lying prone. Alex averted her eyes while Mildred checked the catheter, and helped the woman straighten the sheet and blanket over him. The nurse replaced the cannula under his nose.

"Detective Goren," Mildred said, "You want to go for a walk, you wait until that catheter is out."

Bobby managed his best sigh, and the nurse left the room. He opened his eyes to find Eames staring at him. "Had to try," was all he managed to say. Then he was overcome with exhaustion.

Alex held his hand and studied his face. He had come so far since he was shot, but she had felt his body quivering as she held him. She sighed. He still had a long way to go.

* * *

The pain had diminished slightly, but now he was restless. He was well enough to be alert most of the time, and he was bored. He wanted to be up and about but had neither the permission nor the stamina to do it. He had slightly more self-control than when he was dealing with the pain. Instead of snapping at his friends most of the time, he bit his tongue and scowled instead.

Alex was finally reaching her limit. She folded her arms and glared at him. "Are you about finished with this lousy attitude?"

"What lousy attitude?"

She shook her head at him.

"Trade places with me, we'll see how you keep your rosy disposition."

Alex saddened at the thought. "That's not fair," she said. "And for the record, I would rather be the one in that bed."

Now Bobby's expression saddened. "You quit."

"Yes. I did."

"I don't like it."

"I know that."

"Couldn't you just… talk to me first, before you made a decision like that?"

"Like you talked to me about going undercover?"

"Not… fair," Bobby said through a stifled cough.

"Good. We're even."

The conversation was difficult, and they were both angry, but Bobby reached his fingers towards hers. She clasped his hand and gave him a semblance of a smile. "Truce?" she asked him.

He squeezed her hand. Bobby's eyes closed and he felt all of his misery at once. "I hate it here," he muttered.

Alex's heart ached for him. She squeezed his hand and tried to comfort him.

He managed to drift into sleep, and Alex took the opportunity to walk the halls and call her sister. When she returned, he had awakened, and he had the scowl on his face again.

"What's wrong?" Alex asked.

Bobby frowned and looked away from her.

"You want the nurse?"

"No I don't want the fucking nurse."

Alex folded her arms and gave him a scowl of her own.

Bobby clamped his mouth shut and threw his dirty look toward the ceiling.

"Just say it, Bobby. It can't be good for you to hold it in like this."

"Stop telling me…what's… good… for me."

Alex sighed and rolled her eyes, readjusting her hands to hug herself even tighter.

"What do I… do… without you?"

"Huh?" Alex was baffled.

"You… quit."

"Oh, Jesus, Bobby. Again?"

"Did you… un...quit?"

She gave him a sour look. "What do you want me to do, Bobby? I made a decision. I weighed all the options, and I made a decision. I have to do what's best for me, for my future."

"You… weighed all the options… what, for two seconds?!"

"Maybe I'm not the heavy thinker that you are, but I gave this some serious thought, Bobby. God knows I had plenty of time to think about it." Her thoughts went back to those first days of his hospitalization, when she spent every waking moment terrified that he might die.

"Should… have…" an alarm started to sound over his bed, and it seemed like Bobby was short of breath. "…talked to me…"

"Settle down, Bobby."

"Don't tell me-!" he was interrupted by a nurse who gently pushed Eames aside and spent some time getting a solid flow of oxygen back into her patient.

Tears welled in Alex's eyes, and she stepped backwards and out the door. She couldn't stop the sobs from overtaking her, no matter how hard she tried to stifle them.

A warm hand was against her back. "Alex?" Lewis asked. "Is he...?"

Alex gave a shrug and realized just why she was crying. She'd never been the cause of his setbacks before. "He's… I think he's fine now. Go ahead," she told Lewis, and sniffed.

Lewis seemed torn about leaving her, but he had to reassure himself about Bobby. He stepped inside the room and just as quickly returned to Alex. "What happened?" he asked, his hand against her back once more.

She had regained most of her composure. "He's angry with me. We were trying to talk and his oxygen crashed..."

"Angry like the usual angry? Or is it something else?"

"He can't forgive me for leaving the force."

Lewis frowned and gave a sigh.

"Lewis, I… I can't do this… to him. I'm gonna go home…"

Bobby's friend nodded at her.

"Keep me posted, okay?"

Without a word, Lewis stuck his hands in his pockets and bobbed his head in a nod. She walked slowly past him, craning her neck as she passed Bobby's room, but without even turning to enter. Fighting tears again, Alex left the hospital.

Lewis turned and walked back to the room his best friend lay in. The nurses had returned to their stations, and Bobby lay staring at the ceiling. The oxygen cannula was stretched under his nose once again. Bobby heard the shuffle of Lewis' feet and turned his eyes to meet his friend's.

"What's all this?" Lewis asked him, hoping to get Bobby to talk.

"Fucking lungs don't work," Goren snipped. "Where's Eames?"

Lewis looked back toward the door and shrugged. "Uh… she went home, I think." He avoided Goren's eyes for a moment, but couldn't do it for long. Bobby didn't look happy about Eames' departure.

"She's pissed at me."

Lewis frowned. "She's upset… that she hurt you." He could see Goren's shallow breaths coming faster and he rested his hand on the man's shoulder. "Look, she'll be back. She just needed a break, that's all. This…" Lewis gestured to each wall of the room, "this is hard on everybody."

"Fuck," Bobby breathed, but he didn't upset himself further. He stared at the ceiling again, and although he was glad for Lewis' touch, he didn't complain when Lewis pulled away and flopped down in the visitor chair.

"Look, I can't stay long. Shop's getting busy. I wanted to come by and see you while I had time."

"Go, Lewis. I don't need you to… babysit me."

"Bobby," Lewis protested. "That's not what I think. Anyway, I want you to do something for me."

Goren's eyes met his friend's. He had no idea what he could do for anyone at the moment.

"Think. About Eames. And be fair about it. And when you've done that, give her a call." Lewis folded his hands together as if he wasn't sure what to do with them. "She loves you, man."

Goren shivered at the words. He knew it was true, and he loved her too, but neither of them had ever admitted it. He coughed softly. "She tell you that?" he whispered the question.

Lewis shrugged and his knee bounced. "Yeah, I'd say so, yeah. Everything she does says it, man."

Bobby huffed a breath and turned his head.

"Well, whether she said the words or not, doesn't change the truth, Bobby. Do what I said. Think." Lewis got to his feet. "Call me if you need me. And no more alarms, you got that?" He dropped his hand onto Goren's and gave it a squeeze. "I'll see you later."

Bobby nodded, squeezed Lewis' hand, but said nothing. He felt the pain of his wound, but now his heart ached, too. After Lewis was gone, he thought about calling Eames and apologizing, but he didn't feel sorry. He was angry with her for quitting the force, and he didn't think any amount of thinking was going to change that. With a sigh, he closed his eyes and eventually managed to fall asleep.


	10. Chapter 10

Chapter 10

Goren woke in the middle of the night to find a strange face standing over his bed. A young man who looked to be about 20 stared at him through squinted eyes.

Even injured as he was, Bobby's gut told him something was wrong. The room was dimly lit, and the hospital halls sounded quieter than usual. It was night, Bobby knew it, and just as he realized a stranger visiting him at night wasn't a good thing, the man pounded his fist into Goren's chest.

Goren writhed and gasped for air. His lung was burning with pain and his chest was in some kind of spasm. There was no air to be found. Alarms sounded all around, and he blacked out.

The team of nurses raced in. Quickly, they worked to restore his breathing. Thirty minutes later, the crisis was averted, but Goren had suffered a setback. His lung had partially collapsed.

* * *

Alex drove recklessly back to the hospital. She couldn't find the patience to wait for the elevator doors to open. She squeezed her body through and ran to his room.

The night nurse, Kelly, caught her at his door. "He's breathing on his own now, but it was a very serious situation," she said calmly.

"What the hell happened?" Alex asked. "He's been doing so well!"

"We don't know for sure, but the patient in 411 said he saw a man running down the hall at about the same time the alarms sounded."

"Somebody did this to him?! Did you call NYPD? His Captain?"

"Ms. Eames, we only just found out, and at this point, we have no idea whether—"

"Why don't you let Captain Ross decide that!" She withdrew her cell phone. Strangely, she hadn't gotten around to deleting unnecessary phone numbers yet. "Captain Ross, this is Eames."

"Eames?" He was quite surprised to be hearing from his former detective in the middle of the night. "Is Goren-?"

"No, Captain, he's not all right. Something happened and his lung partially collapsed and one of the other patients said he saw a man running from Bobby's room at the time of the event."

"He was attacked?"

"It sounds like it."

"I'll get a team down there right away."

"Thank you, sir." She ended the call and entered Bobby's room. He was, indeed, breathing. Alex noticed that his skin was flushed and the reading on the heart monitor was higher than usual. She looked him over carefully and rubbed his forearm with her gentle hands.

"He okay?" Lewis asked from the doorway. He was in sweats and his hair was sticking out. He looked like he'd come straight from his bed. He probably had.

She nodded. "He's breathing," she said. She looked at Bobby's face and realized she was trembling.

Lewis moved in closer. His warm hands rested on her shoulders as he looked his friend over.

"He may have been attacked, Lewis. Major Case is sending some Detectives to investigate."

"Who would-?"

Alex shrugged under his hands and turned her eyes to him. "Bobby's put a lot of people in jail, Lewis. A lot of enemies…"

He scratched the stubble on his face and moved to sit in the other chair. "I guess it'd be best not to leave him alone."

She frowned. "I guess we can ask Ross to put a detail on him."

A knock sounded at the door. Alex looked up to see Detective Logan and Falacci standing there.

"Is he okay?" Falacci asked.

Alex nodded. "For now," she said quietly.

"What happened?"

Alex relayed the information as the two stepped inside.

"I'll check on security cameras," Logan volunteered.

"I'll go with him. You'll call me when he wakes?" she asked Alex.

Alex nodded. "And Nola? Can you ask Ross to put a guard on him?"

"I think it's a reasonable precaution at this point." She nodded at Eames. She and Logan left quickly. The patient who had witnessed it was asleep, as well, so they headed straight for the security office.

* * *

When Bobby awoke, he felt miserable. His head was pounding and his chest ached. Every breath seemed to be accompanied by a slicing pain. He tried to express his discomfort, but only managed a half-voiced whimper.

Her hand was cupping his face, and he opened his eyes. "It's okay, Bobby."

Suddenly, memories flooded his brain. "He…hit me!" His eyes widened with fear.

"Who did, Bobby?"

The face loomed in his mind's eye, but he couldn't place it. "Don't…know."

"A hired goon?"

Bobby closed his eyes and searched his memory in spite of the pounding in his head. "Track marks."

"Okay, we'll get Logan or Falacci to get a description from you. Take it easy, Bobby. You need to heal."

"Feels… different."

"What does? Are you okay?"

"Hurts different."

"He hurt you, Bobby. But you're doing great." She was going to say more, but he became consumed by a cough. Alex held him until it passed. The episode sapped his energy and he slept again.

Alex sighed heavily. She was gritty from lack of sleep, and the fact that someone had come after Bobby, kicking him while he was down, filled her with rage. If she hadn't resigned, she would be heading the investigation herself.

She sighed again, and swiped her hand through her hair. _If I hadn't resigned._

As the days passed, she was regretting that decision more and more. She felt helpless, and she really didn't like it. She scraped her fingers through her hair again, and heard Lewis' voice in the door.

"You should get some sleep."

She turned her head. Lewis didn't look much better than last night, but she knew he had napped for a couple of hours. Alex nodded.

"Did he wake?"

"He saw his attacker. And he said he 'hurts different.'" Tears welled in her eyes. She didn't need to tell him the rest. Lewis wrapped his arms around her and Alex fought not to sob against his chest. "If you see the Detectives," Alex said, pulling away from the embrace, "Tell them male with track marks and Bobby can tell them more when he wakes again."

Lewis nodded and let her leave the room. He took up residence in the bedside chair.


	11. Chapter 11

Chapter 11

Two days passed, and Bobby was improving. Alex was at home, searching the job boards on the internet when there was a knock at her apartment door. She got up, stretched, and walked over to it. Checking the peephole, she saw it was Detective Logan. Alex unlocked the door and stepped back, letting him in.

"Not your usual stomping grounds," she said to him. "Need a cup of coffee?"

"Yeah, that sounds good," he told her, and followed her to the kitchen. "All roads lead back to Stoat," he said in his calmest voice.

Alex's hands turned to fists for a moment, before she got back to the task at hand: coffee. She turned and handed him the cup. "You got him, then?"

Logan shook his head sadly. "Unfortunately, no. We got the kid, but he's shut tight as a clam. Circles of friends link to other circles, which lead him to Stoat. There's no history between the kid and Goren prior to this incident."

"Let me talk to him."

Logan accepted the coffee from her, his eyes on his shoes. Slowly, he raised his head just enough to look her in the eye. "You know I can't do that. Hell, I shouldn't even be here."

Eames rubbed her eyes, once again regretting her decision. She sighed. "I know. I know. Thank you, Mike."

"How's he doin'?"

"He seems to be back on track. I guess Stoat didn't set him back too far. How the hell did he manage it, anyway?"

Logan shrugged. "He's out on bail. Testarosa has the funds, Stoat has the freedom."

At the mention of Testarosa's name, Eames' hatred for Moran reared its ugly head again. None of this would have happened if it weren't for that damned undercover job!

"Look, if you need anything… "

"It's all right. Thanks. Say hello to the guys for me."

He gave her a nod and finished off the coffee. "Thanks for the Joe," he said quietly. "Take care, Eames."

"You too, Mike." She walked him out. She turned her attention back to the job search, sending off a few resumes before closing up the computer and heading for the hospital.

* * *

Bobby finished with the water, so Lewis turned and placed the cup on the tray table. When he turned, he was shocked to see the figure in the doorway. "Frank?" Lewis called.

The man came a step in the door, shifting his weight from foot to foot nervously as he stood there. He held a book in his hands. "Hello, Bobby," Frank said quietly.

Bobby breathed the word "Hello." Mostly, he was speechless. He hadn't seen his brother since before his mother's birthday. Frank hadn't bothered to show up. They had a lot of bad blood between them.

"Geez, they, uh, they made me show an ID to come see you. I, uh… I heard about the… you know, this… and I wanted to check on you. See if you're all right."

Bobby turned his eyes to Lewis. Lewis met his gaze, but said nothing. Lewis always stood by Bobby, but dealing with Frank was Bobby's turf. The man in the bed turned back toward his brother. "Yeah, I'm fine. I'll be out of here in no time." He tried his damnedest to control the tickle in his chest.

"Good. Good, Bobby. Uh…" He turned the book over in his hands. "I brought you somethin'. I know you always liked this one." He handed the book to his brother, who studied it with one hand. It was well-worn, but he recognized it right away.

"Treasure Island," said Bobby. He and Frank had read the book many times as boys, and had acted it out when they played together as boys.

"Ma gave it to me last year, you know, before she…"

"Don't," interrupted harshly. "I'm surprised you managed to get your ass out there." The tickle got the best of him, and Bobby grimaced as he coughed. "She was looking forward to her birthday. Where the hell were you?" He added once the cough had subsided.

"Yeah, I know you're mad at me, Bobby, but… that last time, Ma was… I never seen her like that before. Bobby, she was-she was a mess!"

Bobby's anger was causing him to breathe more rapidly. "Couldn't… even… keep it together… for one… day." He was out of breath.

Lewis put a gentle hand on Bobby's chest. "Settle down, man. Just settle down."

"You don't know what it's like for me, okay!" Frank raised his voice. "I love Ma, and she loves me. You don't know, you never had the kind of relationship we do."

Bobby reared back with a retort, but Lewis was holding him back, trying to calm him before he went too far. "Easy, Bobby, easy. Don't let him get to you." He tried to speak, but coughed again, and Lewis helped him through it.

Bobby was gasping for air. Lewis unwound the cannula from where it was hanging and fed the tubing around Bobby's ears and under his nose. "Take it easy, Bobby. Just breathe, okay?" Satisfied that his friend was listening to him, Lewis turned to Frank.

"I think it would be best if you leave, Frank."

"What, I can't visit my own brother?"

"He doesn't need this kind of stress right now, okay?"

"What stress? We're just talking. It's not my fault he always gets so damned upset about every little thing."

Lewis set his jaw. "You know, Frank, it's time for you to go. You can walk out on your own, or I can help you. How you wanna do this, huh?"

"Lewis," Bobby protested.

Ruzicki shook off the fingers that touched his arm. "Well, Frank?"

Frank saw the angry determination in Lewis' face. He looked back at Bobby. "Well, hell. All right. Sure. I'll go. I hope you feel fucking better, Bobby." He spun on his heel and stomped away.

Satisfied, Lewis turned back to Goren, who had a perturbed look on his face.

"I'm sorry, Bobby. I know I don't usually get in the middle, but you don't need to deal with his shit right now."

Bobby closed his eyes and thought about the events of the last 20 minutes, and realized Lewis was right. He reached out his fingers and tapped the side of Ruzicki's arm. "It's okay."

Lewis gripped Bobby's hand for a minute and smiled, then he sat beside him. "You want me to read some of this?" He reached out and grabbed the copy of Treasure Island.

Bobby smiled. "Okay."

Lewis cleared his throat, settled in, and started reading while Bobby slowly restored the oxygen to his body.

"Treasure Island?" Alex asked, after listening to a paragraph from the doorway.

Bobby couldn't help himself. He smiled at her.

"Yeah," Lewis said, shifting position in the chair. "Bobby had a visitor, brought him this."

"Visitor?" She looked at Goren, and noticed he was taking oxygen again.

"Frank," Bobby explained. He held his hand up, and she moved to take his hand in hers. "Didn't go well," he added.

"I'm gonna go for a walk, if you don't mind," Lewis announced.

Bobby nodded and Ruzicki hurried out.

"What's up with him?" Eames asked. Lewis' body language seemed a little on the agitated side.

Bobby explained the events surrounding Frank's departure.

"And this?" she asked him, fingering the oxygen tubing.

"I got… worked up. Couldn't breathe."

"Lewis did the right thing," she said. Bobby closed his eyes, unable to argue. "He's lucky I wasn't here."

Bobby chuckled, and it turned into a cough. "Don't do that," he told her.

Affectionately, she smiled and ran her hand through his curls.


	12. Chapter 12

Chapter 12

"Logan says they will have you try and ID him with a lineup."

"Yeah, right."

"No, really. The ADA's office says you can do it via electronic media so long as there is a room full of lawyers to witness it."

Bobby took a moment to process her words, then nodded. "Okay. When?"

"ADA Langston wants to talk to your Doctor about it, with your permission."

Goren frowned. "He wants me to sign a…" he paused to catch his breath, "release of information and then he can get… whatever he wants about me

to use in his case."

Alex shrugged, even as she nodded. "But he did attack you, Bobby. And if Langston needs to have all the details of your hospital stay to link this back to Stoat, so be it. Stoat gets nailed for this, and he won't stand a cold chance in hell when he goes to trial for the rest."

"Olivet…" Goren frowned.

"What about her?"

"…came to see me. I don't know… if it was… a professional visit."

Alex stepped back in thought, realizing at last why Bobby was leery of signing a release of information.

"Better…you interrogate him…"

Now they both frowned. He knew she couldn't do that. "We'll talk to Nola and Mike. Get them to do it."

"Haven't… tried already?"

Alex cheeks reddened, and she stiffened. "Well they'll just have to try again, all right?!"

Bobby responded to her anger with quiet sullenness.

* * *

"Look, I know, this was some kind of test, right? You had to send a message to Detective Goren to earn some respect, move up in the ranks."

Falacci was doing all the talking. Mike leaned against the wall, his arms and even his feet crossed, bitterly taking in every word, every movement, every change in expression.

Stedman shifted, but gave no indication he was going to talk.

In frustration, Mike straightened up to his full height. He let his arms fall to his sides and he took three strides until he was just behind their perp.

"Truth is, though, you blew it, didn't you, Stedman? All you had to do was hurt him, but you didn't hang around long enough to make sure the job was done!" Mike leaned in, close to Stedman's ear. "What'sa matter? You thought Testarosa would make your bail? Maybe he would have, if you hadn't botched the job!" Logan stood straight again and paced a few more feet away. He turned back to the perp.

"Testarosa?" Falacci prodded. "Or maybe it's Stoat you're waiting for?"

Mike bent in close again. "They're not coming to bail your ass, Stedman. You blew it. They're gonna let you rot in jail."

He squirmed uncomfortably. The man was in his early 20's, and though he was on the wrong side of the law, he was full of ambition. He looked away from Logan.

"You think keeping quiet is gonna change their mind about you? They've moved on, Stedman! Testarosa's too busy trying to buy himself some personal security while in prison, and Stoat is preoccupied with trying to save his own ass. They've already forgotten about you!"

"He's right, you know," Falacci cut in. "Stoat's been meeting with his lawyer several times a day, trying to come up with a defense strategy. He doesn't have time to come down here and get you out."

"He said he would take care of me!" The man blurted, and then realized his mistake.

Mike smiled a little, and perked up. "I know he did. He said that. But you gotta remember, Stoat also said he would never betray his badge… or the public trust…" Mike glanced at his partner. "He says a lot of things. Doesn't mean shit."

Stedman raised his eyes to Logan. "Badge?"

"You didn't know?" Asked Falacci. "Stoat was a cop until last year. Then he decided the rules were for everyone except him."

"He's not coming. You'll end up in Rikers." Logan purred it into the perp's ear.

"All right, all right! I was told that Stoat would pay me. All I had to do was hurt him, the guy in the hospital, Goren. 'Just hurt him,' he said! And I did, so why the fuck am I still here?!"

"Because Stoat is a lying piece of shit," replied Logan, stepping away from the table.

"Because they wanted more. You managed to create a stir, but you didn't hurt him badly enough. Stoat and Testarosa have a big grudge against Detective Goren, see? And you didn't pack much of a punch."

"Who told you?" asked Logan.

"What?"

"Who told you Stoat would pay you?"

"Uh, Rangele. He gave me a $50 bill and sat down beside me, laid out the details of the job."

"And he said Stoat would pay you."

"Uh, no. He sort of… nodded his head at him. Stoat was sitting on the opposite end of the bar."

Falacci groaned and pressed her fingertips into her eyes.

Mike was aggravated, too. He looked briefly at his partner, then back at Stedman. "Where can we find Rangele?"

* * *

"Good to see you. What brings you by?" Ross asked, gesturing to the chair as he pulled his door shut.

Alex shrugged. "Just wondering if you've made any headway looking into the attack at the hospital."

Ross' body stilled, and he smiled apologetically. "You're no longer with NYPD, Eames."

"I'm aware of that, sir. Still, I thought you might give me the courtesy of—"

"That's how vigilantes get their start."

Her cheeks burned. "You think I—"

"Of course not. But the rules are in place for a reason. Now… if you wanted to come back…"

She shook her head, and her anger flared again. "No," she said firmly.

He shrugged again. "Then I'm afraid all I can say is that we continue to investigate and we'll let you know when and if we have anything."

"Bobby's still a member of this squad."

"On medical leave. And as soon as he's well enough, IAB will investigate. We're under strict orders to limit what we share with him, as well, in order to preserve the IAB investigation."

"IAB?!" Her anger reached a peak, and Eames folded her arms. "I'm glad I quit!" she announced, and turned to leave.

"Eames. Eames!" Ross called after her.

Alex stopped at the door and turned back to him.

"If this could go down any other way, I would—"

"Yeah, yeah, yeah. Your hands are tied. I get it, Captain." She left the room.

Alex caught sight of Logan and Falacci as they walked toward their desks. Logan glanced up at the Captain standing in his doorway, and he clamped his mouth shut. "Look, Eames, this isn't a good time, okay?" he interrupted the women.

Falacci stared at him, and Mike discreetly moved his eyes to their watchful Captain. She cleared her throat. "Mike's right, Alex. We'll catch up soon, okay? Give our best to Goren."

Alex knew why they had stopped talking, but she didn't like the feeling of being shut out. With a polite goodbye, she slowly turned and walked toward the elevators.

* * *

A/N this is all I have for now. At this point, comments, thoughts and crazy ideas are welcome because they may inspire me to start writing! Thanks for your support!


	13. Chapter 13

Chapter 13

Alex Eames tossed and turned in her bed. This was the worst night of sleep she'd gotten since… since the day he was shot. This time, however, she wasn't waking up to alarms and nightmares about his death. This time she was waking up angry. Her thoughts were consumed with Testarosa and Stoat and Chief of Detectives Moran. She wondered if Bobby would ever catch a break!

Her head was pounding and her eyelids felt like lead. She squinted at the alarm clock just in time to see it change from 3:49 to 4:00. With a heavy sigh, Eames dragged herself to her feet. "Christ," she muttered. Then she padded off to the shower, mentally kicking herself for not turning on the coffee first.

Her first stop was Falacci's apartment. Falacci wasn't very chipper at 6 a.m., but she was compassionate. She listened to Eames, to all of the ideas she had about things she could only access at Major Case. She knew Eames was asking her to go out on a limb and bring her into the investigation. Hell, she was even set on starting one of her own! Instead of making a promise she doubted she could keep, Nola leaned forward and looked earnestly into Alex's eyes.

"Why don't you go back? Talk to Ross? I'm sure it's not too late. They can write all this time off as a leave of absence or something."

Eames frowned deeply. Why was it that no one seemed to understand how she felt about this? "I can't work for Moran."

Falacci shrugged. Then she raised an eyebrow. "If you came back, you could get all of this information for yourself instead of asking me."

Alex's coffee sloshed a little as she hastily set it on the coffee table. "Look, okay, I understand. I can see now you're not the one who can help me with my problem."

"Eames, wait. I wasn't saying I wouldn't help you!"

"No, it's all right, Falacci." Her cheeks were flushed as she clutched her purse against her side and turned at the door to say goodbye. "I thought as a woman, you would understand how I feel."

"Alex, I—"

"Thanks anyway. I won't bother you again."

Alex was proud of herself for not slamming the door. She drove across town and found herself knocking on Logan's door.

He pulled the door open for her, but he was a fountain of complaints. He hurried off to his bedroom to pull a pair of sweats over his boxers.

Eames felt sorry for Logan. She didn't think his partner would ever have his back the way she did Bobby's.

When he emerged again, he had stopped grumbling. "What is it, Alex? Bobby okay?"

She nodded. "Same as yesterday. Mike, I… I want to ask you a favor. I already told you partner about it, but she wouldn't help me."

Mike nodded. "Stoat? The whole attack?"

She nodded, too. "That, and… I want you to look into Bobby's background for me. Anything you can dig up from before… before he was my partner."

"Bobby? Why?"

Alex considered telling him the reason, but thought it best not to. She shook her head. "Just… I gotta follow my gut sometimes."

"Can't you just ask him?"

Eames shook her head again. "I need more details than he would give. Will you do it?"

"And what happens if I get caught? Word has it IAB is going to have to investigate the undercover job he was on."

"Look, Mike, I already got the cold shoulder from your partner. Are you gonna help me or not?"

"Nola gave you the cold shoulder? Doesn't sound right."

Eames smiled sadly. "She's more interested in her own ass."

"Well so am I," he said in frustration. "Tell me what the hell you expect to find, so I'll know if it's worth putting my ass on the line."

Eames hung her head. She couldn't tell Falacci; she didn't trust her. Mike, on the other hand, had earned her trust. "It's Moran. Something happened, somewhere along the line that put Bobby on his shit list. I need to know what it was."

* * *

Bobby was sitting up when Eames finally got to the hospital. On the one hand, he looked better than he had since it happened, but on the other, he was frowning and his color was off.

"Look at you," Alex said, trying to give him an encouraging smile.

Bobby grunted, but didn't even try to talk.

"You okay?" she asked, her concern showing.

"Just… want to… lie down."

"Want me to-?" she reached for the call button, but he shook his head.

"Have to… until… they let me down…"

"They're making you sit up? That's good, right?"

He nodded. "Took out… the cath."

"Bobby, that's good news! You'll be up and around soon!"

He closed his eyes and renewed his frown. Then he managed a painful shrug.

Alex sighed a little and sat down. "I guess it probably doesn't feel like it," she muttered.

He grunted in agreement and closed his eyes. He didn't open them again until 10 minutes later when a nurse came in to help him adjust back to a prone position.

Bobby coughed at first, but once his body adjusted, he quieted. He sighed, and Alex thought he was going to sleep.

"Ma called," he said suddenly.

"Yeah?" Alex asked. She waited for Bobby to say more.

"She didn't believe I'm really here," he explained, and coughed again. "She thought it was… a ruse…" He pulled that shrug again. " _They_ lied, made it up to keep me away from her."

Alex leaned forward and gave his hand a squeeze. "I'm sorry, Bobby. Were you able to… you know… get through to her?"

He sighed. "I guess."

Alex sat by his side until he fell asleep. Then she pulled out her phone and dialed.

"He okay?" Lewis answered. He obviously had Eames name on his contact list.

"Yeah. He's worn out. They had him sitting up for a while. You could probably wait until later to come in, if you want."

"Okay, thanks for the heads up."

"And Lewis? He talked with his mother today. He didn't say much about it, but…"

Lewis sighed on his end of the line. "Okay."

When Alex ended the call, she brushed her fingers through Bobby's curls. Then she leaned over and kissed his cheek before heading back out into the city once more.

* * *

"May I help you?" asked Dr. Olivet.

"Yes, Doctor, I'm Alex Eames. Bobby Goren was my partner at NYPD for a long time."

"Pleased to meet you, Alex. I hope he's all right?"

Alex looked down at her shoes for a moment. "Yes, he's still… improving. It's a slow process, though."

Olivet nodded sympathetically.

"Look, Doctor, I know you saw Bobby the other day, and I was talking with him about it, and he has some concerns about whether or not your visit was on the record."

"It was a personal visit," Olivet replied quickly. "I've gotten to know Detective Goren in the last several months, and I am concerned about him."

Eames nodded and smiled with relief. "He'll be glad to hear that. Thank you."

"Detective Eames—"

"It's…just… Alex," Eames interrupted. "I'm no longer with NYPD."

"Oh. The City's loss, I'm sure."

Eames shrugged.

"I was going to ask… if you're all right."

"Oh, yes. Of course. I mean, this has been… difficult, but I'm fine. Thank you."

"And Lewis?"

Alex's eyebrow twisted. This woman sure did know a lot about Bobby's private life. She wondered just how much Bobby had told her. "Uh, yeah. You'd probably have to ask him… you know…that."

Olivet smiled. "Maybe I'll do that."

Alex said an awkward but thankful goodbye and took a deep breath once she landed on the stoop. She called Bobby's room, but he didn't answer. She figured he was still asleep and drove home.

* * *

A/N I have to remind you all once again that I know absolutely nothing about medical stuff and so whatever I come up with is probably completely unrealistic! Forgive me!


	14. Chapter 14

Chapter 14

Bobby felt the familiar burn in his chest. He tried to lose himself in sleep again, but it was no use. With a scowl on his face, he opened his eyes.

Two suits were in his room, a man and a woman. They had badges displayed in plain view.

"Detective Goren," the man said with a friendly smile. Bobby said nothing, just looked at the pair of them. The man's smile transformed into concern. "Should I get the nurse for you?"

"No," Goren barked. "Do I know you?" He asked them.

"Detective Lon Grenaldi, and this is Detective Pearl Worlan. We're from Internal Affairs," the last he said almost apologetically.

"Fuck," Goren breathed the word quietly, but he rolled his eyes and painfully shifted position.

"Look, we know this isn't the best time, but… well, there never is a good time, and I guess you'd like to put this behind you," the woman said.

"Go ahead," Bobby said with a sigh.

"We've spoken with everyone involved, except for you, of course, Detective. So you were undercover, and somehow you ended up with your weapon on Mr. Santana."

"Who?" Goren asked.

"Santana, Hector Santana," Worlan clarified.

"Oh."

The two detectives waited patiently, but Bobby said nothing.

"Uhm, perhaps you could tell us what happened?" Grenaldi suggested.

Bobby gritted his teeth and stared at the ceiling a moment. "They made me, I think."

"They made you? What do you mean by that?" asked Grenaldi. "They made you hold a gun to him? Or they knew you were a cop?"

"They suspected I was a cop. To prove it, they wanted me to…" Bobby tried to suppress a cough, unsuccessfully. "Wanted me to kill him."

"And you, what, held him at gunpoint?"

"I… bought myself a minute to think. I… took Hector to the center of the plastic… and I shot Stoat."

"Detective Goren, this doesn't match with what we've heard."

Goren shrugged. "It's what I remember."

"Look, if I hadn't played it the way I did, both Hector and I would be dead."

The Internal Affairs Detectives shared a glance. "Your team was just outside the door. You couldn't stall for just one more minute?"

"I had… no idea… I had a team."

Worlan was skeptical. "You had no idea you had backup?"

Goren shook his head. "I'd been alone from the beginning. Besides a weekly debrief with Ross, that is." He coughed again.

"Stoat claims he was undercover as well, that you invited him in."

"Bullshit," said Bobby. "He's dirty, and a snowflake."

"He does cocaine?" clarified Grenaldi.

"Regularly," Goren said with a nod.

"Do you know how you were shot?"

"Behind me, I guess Testarosa."

"If he'd aimed higher, you wouldn't have survived." Worlan offered Goren a smile. "You are very brave, Detective Goren."

"Would you consent to a psychological evaluation?" asked Grenaldi.

"Why?" Bobby fired back.

Grenaldi stuck his hands in his trouser pockets. "There is a fine line between courage and recklessness. I like for my reports to be airtight."

"I was doing my job," Goren said. "Chief of D's—"

"Moran had very little to tell us about this whole thing," Grenaldi explained.

Bobby frowned, and his cheeks colored. "I'd been on suspension… Moran knows more about my mental health than my own mother."

"Would you consent to our—"

"No. Hell no. You can see for yourself. Do I look crazy to you? I'm just a regular guy. I just..." he coughed again, "…did my job."

"Why wouldn't the Chief—"

Goren shrugged. "I don't know. Ask him." With a scowl, he turned to his side and coughed again. "I could use a nurse about now, if you don't mind," he told them.

"Sure. Thank you, Detective." Grenaldi led the way out and his partner followed.

"More friends?" asked the nurse, glancing over her shoulder as she prepared the syringe.

"Not exactly," Bobby muttered.

The look on Bobby's face deterred her from asking for clarification. It was clear that he was in pain. "This should kick in pretty quickly. Let me know if you need anything else, Detective."

"Thank you," Bobby whispered, already feeling a numb warmth spreading through his veins. He sank into the darkness willingly, until fragments of memory invaded his thoughts. He felt himself raising the gun to Hector's head and jerked awake, his heart pounding. The drugs were powerful, and he began to drift away again, only to snap to attention at the memory of his trigger finger squeezing as he hoped he'd moved the barrel quickly enough. Over and over, the memories assaulted him. Bobby found no rest.

* * *

"Mr. Ruzicki? This is Nurse Sanchez at St. Vincent's. There have been some developments with Detective Goren's condition, and—"

"Is Bobby all right?" Lewis asked, terrified.

"He's stable at the moment, but the doctor thought it best that I call you and Ms. Eames in for an update."

"Uh, God, yeah, okay, I'll be there as soon as I can. Does Alex, uh, Ms. Eames know?"

"She's already on her way."

"Okay. Th-thank you." Lewis threw his tools hastily into the top drawer of his toolbox and unzipped his coveralls as he rushed to the office. He shouted for one of his men and quickly stepped out of his work suit. "Jerr, I gotta get back to the hospital. I don't know what's going on, but it doesn't sound good. Hold down the fort for me?"

Jerry nodded soberly. "Sure, Lewis, I'll keep an eye on things for you."

Lewis gave him a nod and a couple of last-minute instructions, then jogged out to his car.

* * *

Lewis and Alex greeted each other with a serious stare. They approached the nurse's station together, and Nurse Sanchez walked them into Bobby's room.

He looked no different than before. He was sleeping, and the equipment beside his bed was monitoring his vitals. This time, though, the Doctor was sitting in the chair, scrolling through some information on his palm pilot with a gold stylus. He looked up at Goren's two friends. "Oh, you're here. Good." The Doctor got to his feet, offering the chair with a gesture if anyone wanted it. Neither of Bobby's friends moved. "Uh, his vitals became unstable a couple of hours ago. Not really sure what caused it yet, but we have managed to stabilize him again. I had to sedate him for the time being, and I've changed his pain medication. We'll keep him sedated through the night and then let him come out of it tomorrow, monitoring him closely as we do so." The Doctor scratched his chin and shrugged. "Not knowing the cause, I really can't be sure what tomorrow will bring. At any rate, I wanted you to be aware. This is a serious complication, but nothing we can't handle."

"Wh-what happened, exactly? I mean, 'unstable' could be anything, right?"

"His heart rate skyrocketed, and he began to have difficulty breathing."

"Sounds like he was scared." Lewis looked over at Eames, and they both wondered the same thing: what had scared Bobby?

"He was alone for a while," Eames said. "I never expected anything like this to happen."

"He did have some visitors," Nurse Sanchez interjected. "Two people, a man and a woman. They spoke with him, I don't know, ten or fifteen minutes? And they left."

"A man and a woman?" asked Lewis. He looked to Eames. "Could that be Logan and—"

"No, I met with both of them today. Neither one has been to the hospital. It was someone else." Eames frowned, staring at Bobby. She turned her eyes to the doctor. "But he's okay now?"

The man nodded. "His heart rate is in an acceptable range and we haven't had to vent him again. Blood pressure a little on the high side, but okay." The Doctor stayed with them long enough to be sure they had no further questions, then headed down the hall, returning his attention to the device in his palm.

Alex stepped ahead as the nurse left. She dropped heavily into the guest chair and covered her face with one hand, sighing.

Lewis moved past her, touching her shoulder briefly, then stopping at Bobby's side to fold his arms and stare. "Who would have come to see him?"

She raised her head. "I'll find out soon enough." Alex marched out of the room and stopped to speak with the officer who was standing as inconspicuously as possible near the door. A few moments later, she returned. Lewis looked up at her and saw her frown. "Internal Affairs. Two detectives from Internal Affairs."

Lewis let this information soak in and chewed on his bottom lip. "Well, I guess they had to ask him about it sooner or later, you know?" he said.

"They shouldn't have upset him," she said quickly, anger set in her jaw. "They should have read his body language, should have known when to back off, table the interview if necessary."

Lewis nodded silently. She knew a hell of a lot more about interrogations than he did. "I wonder what they said."

Eames felt the fury rise in her chest. She would love to march down to 1PP and rip somebody a new one over this. She could find out every word that was spoken, exactly what had set Bobby back. Only she couldn't. She no longer worked for NYPD. "Damn it, Bobby!" she cried. Alex held her breath a moment, covering her face with both hands. When her lungs screamed for air, she had to submit. Along with the gasps for air came sobs of frustration. She felt Lewis' hand on her back, consolation in exchange for the embarrassment of losing control of herself.

It was a long, quiet night.


	15. Chapter 15

Chapter 15

"We're going to let him come out of sedation, now. It's possible that he may be agitated as he wakes. If he seems too unstable, we'll put him back under and try again later."

Alex looked at Lewis. She was on one side of the bed and he was on the other. Between the two of them, they would do everything they could to keep Bobby calm.

"His last dose was a couple of hours ago. He should be coming around within the next 20 minutes." The Doctor nodded to Mildred, Bobby's primary daytime nurse, and bowed out of the room.

"Just try to keep him calm. If he was upset when he went under, he might be upset when he wakes. There's no way to know, really," she advised Goren's friends.

Alex rubbed Bobby's hairy forearm and then gave him a squeeze. She sighed impatiently.

Lewis clutched the bedrail and took a minute to roll the stress from his neck muscles.

The beeping of Bobby's heart monitor increased in frequency.

"Bobby?" Alex said quietly, giving his arm another soft squeeze.

He gasped and jerked his head suddenly. "No!" he growled and snapped his head the other way.

Lewis mimicked Eames' posture, holding Goren's other arm. "It's okay, Bobby, calm down," he said.

"Bobby, you're all right," Alex told him.

His heart rate was still very high.

"I think we'd better—" Mildred said, moving in with the syringe.

Lewis put his hand up. "Wait… just one more minute, okay?" he told the nurse.

Alex laced her fingers into Bobby's. "Settle down, Bobby, it's okay. It's just nightmares, okay?" She glanced at Lewis, hoping that would work.

An alarm sounded, but Bobby blinked and opened his eyes.

"Hey, hey, hey," Alex said softly, getting him to focus on her as Lewis waved his hand to stop the Nurse again. "That's it, that's right, look at me, Bobby. You're okay, hey?"

His breathing slowed and deepened, and the alarm sound stopped. His heart rate was still high, but the numbers were slowly going down. "Hey," he whispered, his eyes locked on hers.

"It's okay, Bobby. Settle down." Alex looked directly in his eyes and her thumb stroked the back of his hand.

"What…?" he glanced around, confused. He could feel the warmth of her hand on one side, and of Lewis' hands on the other.

Mildred stepped back and smiled. "That's better. That's good. You all just keep talking with him. I'll check back in a few minutes."

They continued to reassure him for a few minutes as his heart rate settled. At last, Bobby sighed. "I kept… thinking about the shooting… replaying it in my head," he admitted.

"Bobby, you can't do that," Eames admonished him softly. "It's over. Let it go."

"Yeah, man, call somebody if you're upset, okay?" Lewis told him.

Bobby shook his head and blinked. If his memory was correct, he'd been unable to call anyone. He looked at Alex and squeezed her hand. "I'm glad you're here," he said. Then he turned his head to Lewis. "And you."

Lewis grinned. "Anytime, brother." With another squeeze, Lewis turned Goren's arm loose and flopped into the chair on his side of the bed. "Now, you just have to concentrate on staying calm, okay?"

He licked his lips and smiled. Try as he might, he was finding it hard to keep his eyes open. In his head he heard Lewis saying _She loves you, man. Everything she does says it._

Alex watched him. She saw the small grin before he relaxed into sleep. She looked over at Lewis. "I wonder what he was smiling about?"

Lewis was grinning, too. He simply shrugged.

* * *

Alex stayed at the hospital while Lewis went back to the shop. Bobby slept for a long time, but Mildred told her not to worry, that his vitals were looking good. In the early afternoon, Alex told the nurses she was stepping out for a bite to eat.

She was halfway through her bowl of soup when her cell phone rang. "Hi, Mike," she said after reading his name on the caller ID.

"Hey, Eames," he said gently. "How's your partner?"

"He had a rough night, but he's doing better now."

"He's okay?"

"He's okay."

"Well, look. It's against my better judgment, but I've been doing some snooping."

She raised an eyebrow and grinned. "Oh?"

"Yeah. Whattayou know about Moran's personal life?"

"Uh, married, couple of kids. Blue family, all cops, I think."

"All but two," said Mike. "His daughter married a divorce lawyer in New Hampshire. And his youngest son, Chuck went through the academy and then… nothing. Seems to have dropped off the map."

Alex frowned. "That doesn't sound right."

"The older two boys are Detectives. One of 'em just made Captain."

"Well, you know as well as I do that when your family bleeds blue, you don't just quit. Could he be in some other branch, Federal, maybe?"

"I couldn't find anything."

"Weird."

"Well, I'll keep digging around. So long as my partner doesn't find out, I'll be okay."

"She's giving you grief?"

Mike shook his head. "I didn't give her a chance to. The way she spouted off about you asking her to risk her career by stepping into the Chief, I knew I should keep my mouth shut."

Alex didn't have any warmth toward Falacci. Personally, while she knew it was a career risk, she didn't see what was so wrong with sniffing out a dirty politician. She couldn't call Moran a cop, not anymore. A wave of gratitude passed over her as she thought of the man on the other end of the line. "Thank you, Mike."

"Hey, it's nothing, all right? Take care."

She took her time putting the phone away. She stirred the soup and another taste proved it was now cold. Alex dumped the rest and returned to Bobby's room.

* * *

"You're bailing on me again?" Falacci raised an eyebrow at her partner. "You think I'll forget it's your turn to buy the drinks."

Logan grinned. "Nothing like that. Just busy, with some, you know… personal stuff. I'll make it up to you, all right? I'll buy drinks the next two times we go out, okay?"

"All right, partner. I hope she's worth it."

Mike chuckled and waved goodbye as she walked toward the elevators. Then he opened his desk drawer and withdrew a note. He picked up the phone and dialed.

* * *

Goren was miserable. For Eames, and for Lewis, he did everything the staff asked him to, but he hated it. He hated sitting for the pain it conjured up, he hated walking for the pain and the exhaustion afterwards, and he hated resting because he was bored out of his mind. He hated coughing, he hated breathing, he hated trying to talk around the constant dryness in his mouth.

He hated trying to explain it all to his mother.

He hated hearing how much better he looked. He didn't feel better, he didn't feel right at all.

But Alex and Lewis kept coming, and encouraging, and even made him laugh a few times. So Bobby kept trying to get better.

* * *

Freddie Sheehan was and always would be a junior detective. He'd been bounced from Narcotics to SVU to the Gang Unit and now was working on his third year at the 16th precinct, where he seemed content. He reminded Mike a little of Lennie, only not as smart.

"So you used to work with Goren, back in the day?" Mike asked him.

"Yeah, in Narco. Cocky bastard."

"Yeah? When was this?" Logan asked.

"Hell, I don't know. He'd been there a year already when I got in. Sent me under with the team, then took all the credit when we bagged the big fish."

"Really." Logan already knew the story of the sting operations Bobby had led. He wasn't really friends with Goren, but he knew him well enough to know better.

"Oh, yeah! Twenty-seven arrests and 27 convictions. It's all anybody ever says about him. Well, that and he's a head case."

Mike chuckled again. "Yeah, I've heard that." He pressed Freddie for more information about his days in Narcotics, and finally, a familiar name popped up. "Who was that again?"

"Chuck Moran, you know, Chief of D's son."

"He was in Narco?"

"Only for about 3 months. I don't know what happened to him, but all of a sudden, he was just… gone."

"Goren have something to do with it?"

"I don't know. He never seemed happy about it, but he never said anything, either. Shortly after that, I transferred to SVU, so I never heard what happened to him."


	16. Chapter 16

Chapter 16

Danny Ross rubbed his tired eyes and stared at the memo on his desk. He had already read it twice, and it still aggravated him. Finally, he snatched up his phone and dialed the extension. "This is Captain Ross. I'd like to speak with the Chief, please."

It took a moment before Moran's gruff voice rang in his ear. "Danny, what's up?"

"Chief, I've been reading this report from IAB."

"Yeah, it's a shame, ain't it?"

"Sir, I have to say I take issue with the recommendations. I mean, you know as well as I do what kind of scene Goren was in."

"Yeah, it's tough, I know. But hey, he's still got a job, right? I mean, my hands are tied here, Danny. Too many question marks. I can't exactly pat him on the back and give him a commendation."

Ross frowned. "But demotion…"

"He threatened the life of a citizen. Hector Santana was cooperating with the understanding that he would be protected by NYPD. Goren's lucky Santana's not suing him and NYPD over it."

"Kenny." Ross never called the Chief by his first name when he was on the job. He hoped he could reach him, man to man, and not hide behind the politics of the roles they had to play. "Goren did everything you asked him to. He spent 5 months in limbo, and then took on this… suicidal undercover job just to get on your good side again. He damned near gave his life to save Santana's. You know it and I know it. You can't do this to him. It's just not right."

"Danny, you're not seeing the bigger picture, here. If I sweep this under the rug, then even if Santana doesn't sue us over it, you can bet your ass the media will get a whiff. And once they smell blood in the air, NYPD will get dragged through the mud. Our cops have a hard enough time as it is. Think of the morale issues. Worse than that, think of the damage it will do to our tenuous relationship with the community."

"You've made up your mind, then."

"Danny… c'mon. I feel for the guy, I really do." There was a moment of silence, and then Moran sighed. "All right, look. He's still in the hospital, right? I'll hold off on my decision until he's fit for duty. Give you another few weeks to convince me, eh?" Moran chuckled.

Ross still didn't like it, but he would take what he could get. "All right. Thank you, Chief."

* * *

Alex looked up and saw the officer in the hall talking with a familiar figure. She turned the blinds just far enough to get a better look, and saw none other than Faith Yancie and her camera crew trying to get past the guard. Alex frowned and watched the man sternly deny them.

"What's wrong?" Bobby's voice came from behind her.

"Oh, you're awake." She turned around and gave him a smile.

Bobby waited for her to answer him. After a silent battle between the two detectives, she sighed. "Faith Yancie. Your guard sent her back to the studio."

Bobby scoffed. "What the hell does she want with me?"

Alex shrugged. "Who knows? Could be a feel-good story for her, hero busts drug ring."

"I don't trust her." He met her gaze and they silently agreed.

"Me either." Alex stepped closer to him, and reached out to touch his shoulder. "How are you feeling?"

He shook his head and didn't reply. She couldn't really want the answer to that question. "Uh, how's the job search?"

Alex was surprised. He'd been avoiding the subject of her resignation. It was uncomfortable to answer him. She was afraid it would bring the anger back. "Uh, well, I looked into some security jobs, but they just don't pay. I have an interview tomorrow with a Divorce Lawyer."

Bobby groaned. "You're gonna spy on some lousy cheaters? You're better than that."

"There's not a lot out there, Bobby."

He scowled and looked toward the window.

"You're still mad about it?"

"Nah."

"You're not?"

Goren's eyes flicked back to meet hers. "I doubt I'll get cleared for duty, anyway."

"What?!"

He coughed and frowned at the painful burn in his chest. "I guess the partnership had to end, one way or another."

"Now, you just wait a minute, Goren." She squeezed his hand, demanding his attention. "You got hurt, okay? Hurt bad, but that doesn't mean you won't be able to work. It's gonna take some time to heal, yes, but you're gonna be all right, you hear me?!"

He nodded, but he couldn't really believe it.

"Goren!" His eyes snapped back to hers. "The doctors haven't given any indication that you won't be able to return to full duty. Don't you think if they were worried, they would have said something by now? I mean, I think they would have! But all they've been telling us is to give it time. In time, you'll heal. That's it. You're gonna be okay, Bobby."

He listened respectfully, and he nodded. "Okay, Alex. I believe you."

The two returned to silence, Alex trying to remember the name of the old sitcom that was playing without sound on the television and Bobby staring out the window.

"Stoat," he said suddenly.

"Huh?"

"Faith Yancie. It must be Stoat. He probably called her or something."

Alex didn't say a word, but she felt her gut clench in that familiar way it always did when his hunches were right. She folded her arms and frowned.

* * *

"Look, Logan. Fair warning," Detective Farrell told said, folding his arms. "You're poking around in a hornet's nest. Didn't you learn anything from all the crap Goren's gone through? If you're smart, you'll go back to Major Case and leave this alone."

Logan had on his poker face. He nodded soberly. "Okay. Uh, thanks."


	17. Chapter 17

Chapter 17

Goren lay on his side, staring past her at the windowsill. There were a handful of cards sitting there, but Bobby couldn't say any of them had made him feel better.

The person that made him feel better was sitting in the chair, watching the evening news. She'd helped him take a walk, fed him dinner, and now insisted that he get some rest.

He was tired, but he couldn't go to sleep. He knew the pain medicine would help, but he didn't like how it fogged up his mind. Bobby shifted a little and stifled a groan. Then he resumed staring across the room.

"You're not sleeping, partner," Alex said softly.

"No," he replied, barely moving his head.

"You okay?"

"Yeah." He felt her fingers in his hair, and he closed his eyes.

"Try and relax," she soothed him.

He directed his full attention to the gentle tickle of her fingertips against his scalp. It was very relaxing, but not enough to lull him to sleep. He remembered again what Lewis had said: _Everything she does says it._

"Alex?" he spoke quietly.

"Yeah, Bobby?"

"I…" Suddenly he felt like his throat closed up. He couldn't speak. Bobby licked his lips, then looked up at her. "I like that," he said, disappointed with himself.

Alex smiled and resumed stroking his curls. After a few more minutes, he felt his eyelids getting heavy. He closed his eyes again and concentrated on the feeling.

Alex thought she heard him say something, a whisper. She leaned in and whispered back. "What, Bobby?"

It was no use, though. He'd finally fallen asleep.

* * *

Goren answered the Doctor's questions and did everything he was asked. He looked at the man hopefully.

The Doctor shook his head. "Not until those wounds heal some more. You're at a high risk for infection right now."

"Hospital's a breeding ground for infections."

The Doctor grinned at his patient. "That may be, but at least here we can monitor you and provide immediate intervention should you develop one."

Bobby sighed, rolled his eyes, and looked away.

The Doctor's manner softened. He patted the mattress by Goren's thigh. "I know it's frustrating, but things are coming along nicely. It shouldn't be too much longer now."

"What does that mean?" Bobby asked, his eyes riveted to the Doctor's. "A day, a week? Two weeks?"

The man smiled kindly. "I'll let you know when we're a little closer. Keep up the good work."

Bobby sighed again, and coughed. His peripheral vision caught the profile of Faith Yancie trying her damnedest to get information from his Doctor. He saw the guard step in her way and convince her to leave.

Goren reclined the bed and stared at the ceiling. He knew Stoat was behind that, but he wasn't sure what, exactly, he wanted Yancie to find.

* * *

"Look, Chief, I'm already down two Detectives!" Ross complained. Chief Moran had come down to Major Case personally, and told him he needed Logan on an undercover assignment with the Gang Unit.

"You haven't hired a replacement for Eames yet?" Moran asked. "You'd better step on that, Danny."

"Why Logan? Why couldn't they pull somebody from Vice?"

"They like Logan. He talks tough, they think he'll fit in."

"He speaks Spanish like an Irish Grandmother."

"They want Logan."

"And if I say no?"

Moran smiled and cocked his head. "Danny. These favors we ask of each other… they go both ways. I gave a little on Goren, you give a little on Logan."

Ross frowned and rolled up the paper in his hand into a tight tube. "Right." He tapped the tube against his thigh as he walked to his office door and yanked it wide open. "Logan!" Ross shouted across the bullpen.

Mike flinched at the sound of his name and then felt goosebumps crawl up his spine. He turned slowly and stood, his chair rolling back a few inches. He looked from Moran to Ross and swallowed hard. This couldn't be a good thing.

* * *

Logan came by the hospital in a ragged pair of jeans and an old black t-shirt. In spite of the comfortable clothes, he didn't look comfortable. He stopped and showed his shield to the guard, then stepped inside Goren's room.

Goren was sleeping, and Lewis was sitting in the bedside chair, texting a friend. He looked up when he sensed Mike's presence. "Uh, hello."

"Alex isn't here?" Mike asked him, a little irritated that he'd gone to all this trouble only to miss her.

"N-nah, she went home for the night. She's coming in early tomorrow."

Logan frowned. "How's he doing?" he asked politely, throwing his chin in Bobby's direction.

"He gets a little stronger every day."

"That's good news."

"Can I help you with something?"

Mike thought hard. It wasn't how he'd hoped to do things, but he made a decision. Nodding, he pulled an envelope from his back pocket. "Got a pen?" he asked.

Lewis found one on the tray table and handed it over. Mike scrawled "Eames" on the outside of the envelope and handed it to Lewis. "This, uh… this is something she asked me to look into for her."

"Job thing?" Lewis asked.

"Yeah, something like that," Mike lied. "Can you make sure she gets it? I'd take it over myself, but I have someplace I have to be." He checked the time anxiously.

"Yeah, I'll see she gets it."

"G-good. Thanks, man." He reached out and shook Lewis' hand, then he patted Goren's bed with his fingertips and whisked out of the room.

Lewis' phone buzzed. He set the envelope on the tray table and went back to his silent conversation.

* * *

The nurse brought in Bobby's breakfast and hastily set it on the tray table, right on top of the envelope, the pen, and a hospital notepad. She helped Bobby adjust the bed to an upright position and settled him back against his pillow.

Eames came in and greeted him with a smile. She assisted Bobby with his breakfast and then helped him to the bathroom to shave. After a short walk and an even shorter conversation, he fell asleep.

The nurse came to retrieve the breakfast tray and absently straightened the papers on the tray table, tucking the envelope underneath the notepad while Alex took a bathroom break. When she came back, Eames studied Goren's face, taking note of his better color and his now-smooth cheeks. She swiped her hand over his curls once, then dropped into the chair with the TV remote.


	18. Chapter 18

Chapter 18

Logan couldn't go bald; the contrast between his tanned face and the newly revealed skin on his head would be too much of a giveaway. Instead, he got a buzz cut. His lack of tattoos wouldn't help him blend in, either, but temporary tattoos weren't convincing enough, and there wasn't time to get a real one. He put a striped shirt on over his black tee and rolled the sleeves up to his elbows. Maybe it was enough to alleviate suspicions for a night or two.

Contrary to what the Captain had told him, the Gang Unit didn't seem too happy to have him aboard. This was a Latino gang, and no matter what he did, he just wouldn't be able to look the part. The fact that he was monolingual didn't help any, either. In a matter of minutes, Mike felt as if all his years of experience were for nothing. He felt like a rookie, green and uncomfortable.

The other guys on the team felt it, too. They tossed a few stories around until they landed on one they thought might work, that he was the cousin of Alejandro, recently divorced and trying to find a place where he would fit in.

Mike thought it was a crappy cover, but it would have to do. As he climbed in the back of Alejandro's car, he silently asked Lennie for protection. If he hadn't felt so sick to his stomach, he would have laughed at the notion that Lennie was now his guardian angel.

* * *

This latest interview didn't go well. The interview team consisted of two men and a woman. They introduced themselves as law partners, but the way they treated the female in the group made Alex think she was nothing more than a secretary. Alex was decidedly uncomfortable the entire time, and finally, she ended the interview. "I'm sorry, but I just don't think… I'm a good fit for your firm. Thank you for your time," Eames said as she collected her purse and walked out.

She walked the eight blocks back to the hospital. It was cool outside, but not cold. She felt like she needed the fresh air. She also needed time to figure out how she was going to explain to Bobby.

She knew she didn't _have_ to explain anything to him. They weren't lovers, after all. Her finances were her own concern. But she knew he would ask. As he healed, he was more and more like his old self, and his mind never quit. He would definitely ask about the interview.

Frustrated, she stopped at a coffee shop and ordered a latte. While she was waiting, she checked her cell. She hadn't heard from Logan in two days, and she wondered why. Alex looked up his number and called. It went straight to voicemail.

Collecting her drink, she decided she would stop by 1PP when she left Bobby. He wouldn't want to talk about it in the squad room, but at least she could let him know she was still expecting answers.

"He went for a walk," the nurse explained when Alex saw Bobby's empty bed. "He'll be glad to see you." She gestured to the chair and Alex sat. "It shouldn't be too long until he comes back."

Alex hung her head and ran over her finances in her head. She was okay, and probably could cover her bills for another month if she had to, but that would mean dipping into the money she'd gotten when Joe died, and she had always planned to save that for retirement. She raked her hands through her hair and rubbed her eyes. At the sound of voices, she looked up.

"I know, I know!" Bobby said with a chuckle. His aide, Terrence, was steadying him with a gait belt as he walked, and the two men were both smiling.

Alex smiled at Bobby.

"Hi, Eames!" He said cheerfully. He walked from the doorway to the bed and sat down, helping Terrence remove the gait belt. He coughed a few times, then lifted his feet and slid his legs under the sheet.

Terrence checked that Goren didn't need anything else, then smiled at them both. "I'll see you tomorrow," he said as he left.

Bobby coughed again, only to see concern on Eames' face when he was finished. "Don't," he said quietly. "This is a good day."

The worry faded and she nodded at him. "That's good," she said. "It didn't look like you needed much help."

"No, Terrence is starting to back off a little. Maybe tomorrow I can try without the belt."

She smiled at him again, but the only thing she could think of to talk about was the interview, and that was the last thing she wanted to talk about.

"How did it go?" he asked hopefully.

Alex sighed. "They, uh, weren't for me."

Bobby was still smiling.

"You're not supposed to be happy about it."

"Sorry." He coughed and then pulled a sad face. "Is this better?"

Alex smacked his arm playfully and shook her head.

"I am sorry, Alex. But you know what I want. Ross hasn't filled it yet, you know."

"How the hell do you know that?"

"I called Serena."

Serena was the Captain's secretary. She'd been at Major Case for 15 years, and was one of the few who weren't intimidated by the rumors about Bobby.

"And you know what else she said?" He was animated. Bobby liked to gossip, even if he did always take it with a grain of salt. Alex shook her head and he continued, "Logan got loaned out to the Gang Unit."

"What?!" she was incredulous. "Why would they do that?"

Bobby shrugged. "I don't know, but they did." Bobby reached out and touched her arm. She slipped her hand into his. "So whattaya say, huh? Come back to Major Case with me."

She groaned quietly, but she squeezed his hand.

"Please?" he asked softly.

Alex felt her heart soften a little. "Don't you ever listen?" she replied.

He withdrew his hand and looked away. He'd given it his best shot, and she still stood her ground. To talk to her any more about it would just be inviting an argument.

Alex was silent, too, but for a wholly different reason. What if Mike had something on Moran? And what if he'd been sent to the Gang Unit as some kind of punishment? She swallowed hard and tried to compose herself. If Bobby had been looking at her, he would have read her face and known something was on her mind. There was no way Alex was going to fuel the fire between Bobby and the Chief. She couldn't talk to him about it.


	19. Chapter 19

Chapter 19

Alex suffered through two more job interviews. One went well, but she was totally invested in the idea of working for the security agency. The other interview was, in her opinion, awful. She raked her fingers through her hair and sighed as she walked into the hospital. At least Bobby was steadily improving, now. The doctors were beginning to entertain the idea he might be discharged.

She smiled as she thought about him, and despite the interview, she felt much happier… until she walked through the door of his room.

He had a stricken look on his face. He hardly acknowledged her presence, and he looked pain, though not the familiar look of physical pain she had seen so often recently.

"What's the matter?" she asked, with a knot forming in her gut.

His eyes drifted slowly her way until they landed on her gaze. "It's Logan," he said. "He's in ICU."

Her eyes widened and she could feel her heart thrumming. "What?!"

"Last night. I guess it happened last night. Winters came by to let me know."

Eames mashed her lips together and folded her arms. "Th-that's just…" she shook her head. She was angry and worried and had a nagging feeling that she should feel guilty, as well.

"Alex, could you…?" Bobby asked. He was walking more and more daily, but there was no way the staff would let him go wandering all over the hospital yet.

"Sure. Yes. Of course. I'll be back," she told him. Eames spun on her heel and hurried out of the room and down the hall to the elevators.

Since Bobby's shooting, she knew the hospital like the back of her hand. She hurried straight to the nurse's station of ICU, but she didn't have to ask them. A small group of people from Major Case were milling around in the hall. Alex jogged over to them.

"Hey, Eames," Winters said, his voice somewhat dubdued.

"What the hell happened?" she asked him.

Winters looked at his shoes and cleared his throat. He spoke softly. "You know he got, uh, loaned out to GU." She nodded, and he continued. "Somebody made him last night. His partner in GU saved his life, but he's beat to hell, too." Winters nodded down the hall, where she recognized another cluster of detectives. "They got him in a room down there."

She shook her head and her mouth tightened angrily.

"I don't get it," Winters mused aloud. "I mean, Logan could never blend in with that bunch… what the hell were they thinkin'?"

"Is he going to be all right?" she asked. She had to get her mind focused on something other than her anger.

Winters nodded. "Looks like it, now that they got his kidneys working again."

"Is Nola…?"

"She's in there with him now. He's only allowed one visitor at a time. MCS is keeping watch over him until we feel the threat has passed." He nodded his head at the detectives and officers standing near them.

In gratitude, she put her hand on his arm. Then Alex stepped to the entryway of the room. The others recognized her and mumbled greetings, stepping out of the way.

Eames looked at Logan's bruised body lying in the bed. Falacci stood beside him, her arms folded over her waist. Logan's partner looked up and saw Eames in the doorway. They stared at each other for a long moment, then Eames turned and walked away.

* * *

"Well, this is quite a surprise, Detective Eames. How can I help the NYPD today?" Faith Yancie's voice was full of sarcasm.

"Uhm, it's not… Detective… any more. I'm no longer with NYPD."

Yancie cocked her head, and a slight smile touched her lips. She had a sense about good stories, and that sense was ringing like a bell. "Oh… uh… retirement?" She asked as she invited Eames into her office.

"Something like that."

"Well, congratulations."

Alex shifted uncomfortably as she sat in the offered chair.

"To what do I owe the pleasure of your visit?"

Eames chewed on her bottom lip and took a deep breath. "I'm looking for a job."

Yancie cocked her head again, the other way this time. "I thought you said you retired."

"No, I said 'something like that.'"

The reporter leaned her elbows on her desk and clasped her hands. "It sounds like you have a story to tell."

Eames hesitated. "I have a part of a story. And I need a job."

"Have you ever worked in journalism, Ms. Eames?"

"No."

Yancie sat back and lowered her hands to tap her fingers against the mahogany desktop. "Writing skills?"

"Yes, I have them."

Yancie chuckled. "That remains to be seen."

"Look, this place is all about investigative reporting, right? I guarantee you've never seen an investigator like me."

The reporter nodded. "How many years were you in Major Case?"

"Thirteen. And I pulled 5 years in Vice before that."

Yancie nodded pleasantly. "Let's hear it."

"Off the record. Until I sign new hire paperwork. Then the story is yours."

Yancie paused and thought about it. 18 years on the force was too soon for a retirement. Why would a career cop like Eames jump ship when she was so close to being eligible for retirement? Her partner for most of that time had been grievously injured; but Eames had never been one to cower in the face of danger. No, something much more had to have happened. She had the story former Detective Stoat had given her, and she knew a good portion of that was bullshit. Faith knew there was a juicy story behind this; she could smell it. Mentally, she calculated the profit she could make from a slow reveal of a compromised police department and the guaranteed jump in her ratings. She held out her right hand, and Eames shook it. "Deal."

Eames took a deep breath and told Yancie, off the record, what she knew for sure and what she still needed to find out. By the time she left, she had been hired by FYI Productions.


	20. Chapter 20

Chapter 20

In her mind, it had been a solid decision. As navigated herself from the FYI office to the hospital, she realized she was very tense about it. She didn't trust Yancie, and yet she had put herself in a position where she had to trust the woman.

To Alex's way of thinking, there was no other way. She had to find out for herself what was behind this dogged persecution of Bobby by Moran, and her only other option was to go back to Major Case. No, Yancie was certainly the lesser of two evils.

She returned to Bobby's room to find him sitting up in the bedside chair. He had ditched his hospital gown and was lounging in his boxer shorts. The bandages over his wound were only slightly discolored, but it wasn't blood showing, it was the antibiotic ointment the nurse had slathered on.

Lewis stood a few paces away, and the two looked as if they weren't happy with each other.

"Am I interrupting something?" Alex asked, one eyebrow raised.

Lewis sighed and turned away and Bobby quietly grunted, "No."

She smiled more brightly, in spite of the mood in the room. "Great! Well…" She perched herself on the edge of Bobby's bed and looked down into his eyes. "What's going on?"

"I'm going home," Bobby announced, but his expression was one of anger rather than joy.

She couldn't hide the look of surprise. "Oh?"

Lewis groaned and started to argue, spinning back around to face Bobby, "That's not gonna happen, and you know it. The Doctor said—"

"I heard what the Doctor said!" Goren snapped at his friend, obviously picking up the argument right where they'd left it when Eames had interrupted them. "And I'm going home!"

"Uh…" Eames began quietly, "I wasn't here to hear what the Doctor said, so how about you fill me in?" She asked it of Bobby, but she threw a quick glance in Lewis' direction, too.

Bobby frowned and licked his lips. "They're ready to discharge me," he growled.

" _IF_ you have someone to care for you at home, Bobby! The Doctor said if not, you should go to a rehab facility."

"I'm going home," Goren said again.

"Hold it, hold it," Eames said quietly, holding a hand in the air. "For real, Bobby is ready to get out of here?"

Both men nodded.

Her eyes sparkled and she almost cried. "That's great!" She reached down and cupped his rough cheek with her hand. "Bobby! That's great!"

Her excitement broke through and he smiled at her.

She dropped her hand and turned her head to Lewis, and he managed a smile, too.

"So, we just have to figure out how—"

"There's nothing to figure out," Goren announced. "I'm going home, and that's it."

Lewis groaned loudly. "You know that's not what he said!"

"Rehab is just another hospital," Bobby snarled. "I'll go home, and-and-and Eames can take care of me."

She did a double-take, realizing that while that might have been possible this morning, now everything had changed. "Uh, uh….Bobby…"

"What?" he asked her.

"I, uh, I can't. I mean, not full time, I can't."

"That's okay. I'll be fine. We just have to tell the Doctor and—"

"You need somebody around, Bobby," Lewis warned.

"She can, uh, check on me." Bobby looked hopefully up at her, then coughed.

Eames' brow twisted and she folded her arms. She looked over at Lewis. "Maybe between the two of us, we could?" she asked him.

Lewis frowned, but he mulled it over.

"What's the big deal, did you get a job?" Goren asked her.

She nodded. "I start immediately. I can… make my own hours, for the most part… but I have to start working."

"That's great! Where?" Bobby asked.

Her heart raced. She couldn't tell him, not yet. "Uh, it's an investigative uhm, kind of a… I'll be digging into some old cases…"

He smiled at her. "Sounds like it's right up your alley."

"I could come by a few times during the day," Lewis offered. "Maybe if you could take the night shift…" He looked over at his friend. "Bobby, how many times do you have to check that?"

"They look at it three times a day, change it when necessary."

"And what about the pain?"

"I've got the meds for that."

"Yeah, but the meds, they're pretty potent. Maybe you should hire a nurse or something…"

"No, Lewis, look… I can be with him most of the time. Maybe I can just call you if I need some relief."

"It's a part time job?" Bobby asked.

She shrugged. "For now."

"I'll need some time, you know, to plan for coverage."

"I'll give you as much notice as I can," said Alex. The two nodded at each other, then Alex looked down at Bobby and smiled. "You're going home."

His smile broke through, and he whooped with delight.

"What's going on in here?" The nurse asked from the doorway.

"I'm ready to go home," Bobby announced proudly.

"I'll call the Doctor for you," Nurse Sanchez said.

Lewis and Alex rummaged through the things in the room, packing what they could and tossing Bobby his clothing. "What's this?" Alex asked, pulling the envelope from the bottom of the stack of papers on the tray table.

"Oh, Geez, I forgot! Detective, uh, Logan, he dropped that off for you the other day," Lewis explained.

Eames wanted to rip it open then and there, but she didn't want to catch Bobby's interest. Nonchalantly, she tucked it into her purse. "Oh," was all she said.

* * *

Bobby was exhausted before they ever left the hospital. It took two hours for the Doctor to come by and sign the orders, and another hour before the nurse was able to debrief them on his care plan.

He'd been up in the chair longer than anyone realized, and it had taken a toll. They got a wheelchair to take him downstairs, and thankfully, Lewis had his car. It took both of them to steady Bobby enough to safely get him in the car. Alex dropped into the back seat and Lewis scurried around to the driver's seat.

Goren was already leaning his head back against the rest, looking half-asleep.

"You okay?" Lewis asked.

Bobby sighed and said, "yeah. Let's go."

Alex leaned forward and put her hand on his shoulder.

Bobby raised his own hand and held hers for a few minutes, until he felt himself starting to nod off. He dropped his hand into his lap and started to snore lightly.

Alex caressed his shoulder and sighed. Silently, she hoped they had done the right thing.

"You sure you can, uh, you know, handle him? He's pretty big," Lewis asked quietly.

"I'll manage," she told him.

"I can help… get him changed, you know…"

She looked at her former partner, and saw that he was sleeping hard. "That might be a good idea tonight."

Lewis parked in the fire lane of the building with his flashers on. While Alex woke Bobby, he ran in and spoke with the door man, explaining the situation so he wouldn't get towed.

When Lewis came back, Alex was pulling him to his feet.

Something about the movement hurt him, and he paused, hunched over, one hand on the top of the car door and the other holding tightly to Eames.

"Y'okay?" She asked quietly after he'd had a moment.

Slowly, he straightened up with a nod. With Lewis on one side and Alex on the other, they walked slowly to the elevator and to his apartment.

They got him into the bedroom. "I'll be right back," Lewis said, "I'm just gonna… get the rest of the stuff and move the car."

"Okay," Alex replied without looking his way. "Bobby?"

"Yeah." He didn't have the energy to say more.

"You need your pills?"

He nodded. As quickly as she could, she got them for him. Then she helped him carefully peel his shirt off. She was getting him to his feet when Lewis returned. Alex unfastened his pants and pulled them away from his hips. Then she steadied him and got him seated while Lewis did the rest.

Stripped down to his boxers again, they helped him get situated in the bed.

"Okay," Lewis said, satisfied that they'd pulled it off. "I'll call in the morning, in case you need help with anything."

"Thanks, Lewis," Alex said. She walked him to the door and gave him a heartfelt hug before saying good night.

When she got back to the room, she thought Bobby was asleep. Alex sat beside him and ran a hand through his curls.

 _Everything she does says it, man._

"Love you," Bobby whispered.

Alex froze in place. "What" was on her lips, but she didn't need him to say it again. He'd been clear as day. She licked her lips, tucked the sheet a little higher on his chest, then kissed his temple. "Get some sleep, Bobby."

He couldn't reply. He was already sleeping.


	21. Chapter 21

Chapter 21

 _Charles David Moran, 36, Northrop Heights, IL._

Eames crossed her feet against the coffee table and kept reading.

 _License: Expired, 2005_

 _Employer: The Home Shed_

 _DOH: January 26, 2008_

 _Previous Employer: Winston's Market, 8-4-07 to 10-12-07_

 _Previous Employer: Zip-In, 2-23-07 to 4-10-07_

 _Warrants: none_

 _Arrests: 11_

 _Convictions: none_

 _I didn't have time to look into the arrests. I'm sorry I can't keep at this for you, Eames, but I gotta earn my pay. Give my best to Goren._

His name was scrawled boldly at the bottom of the page. Alex scratched her head, wondering at the information in front of her and thinking long and hard about the man who'd done the work. She got to her feet, refilled her glass with two fingers of scotch, and found her cell phone. She called the hospital. "Yes, this is Detective Eames, I was wondering if I could speak with someone in regard to Detective Logan?"

The nurse remembered her, and though she wasn't authorized to share Mike's medical information with Eames, she knew there were people there who would. She asked Eames to stay on the line and after a moment, Falacci's voice was in her ear. "Hello?"

"Nola, it's Alex. I was wondering how Mike's doing."

"He's in a lot of pain, but still improving. They say they might move him out of intensive care tomorrow."

"That's good news. Tell him I said 'thanks,' okay?"

"For…?"

"He'll know. Just tell him for me, okay?"

"You got him to snoop into Moran, didn't you?"

"Nola…"  
"Oh my God, is that why he got sent under? What the hell did you put him on?!"

"Look, Detective, I had nothing to do with Logan getting sent under. And he doesn't do anything he doesn't want to do. You know that." The woman was quiet on the other end of the line, and Alex had no idea if it was because she was angry or something else.

"Uh, Eames… I've gotta get back to him."

"Okay. Nola…"

"Yeah?"

"I hate that Mike got hurt."

"Yeah. Me too."

After ending the call, Alex downed the scotch in one long gulp. She frowned at the taste. It was Bobby's favorite, not hers. Then she paced the floor a few times thinking about how next to proceed.

Without access to the police database, it would take a little longer to get the information she needed. Arrests were a matter of public record. She could start with the local newpapers, and if that was a dead end, she could file a request with the local department.

She found Bobby's laptop and turned it on. After a few minutes, she was connected to the internet and searching for Newspapers in Northrop Heights.

Hours later she had a list going. The most recent arrests were for alcohol-related offenses: drunk and disorderly, that sort of thing. Alex stopped to rub her tired eyes. Researching without the benefit of the police network was tedious.

She heard Bobby cough and decided she should go check on him. Alex set the laptop on the coffee table and set her notes beside it. Entering his room, she heard him cough again and groan quietly.

She moved forward and stared at him, trying to determine if he was still asleep. Bobby grimaced and rolled to his side with a sigh.

"You need your pill?" she asked him quietly.

He sighed again. "I didn't know you were in here."

"I just came in. Do you want a pain pill?"

He shifted, holding his breath and then letting it go. "I guess so," he replied.

"Do you need anything else?" she asked him before leaving the room. Bobby shook his head.

When she returned, she helped him sit up and take his medicine. After he was settled again, Alex sat beside him on the bed, her hand resting against his forearm.

"What time is it?" he asked.

"Uh, almost midnight."

Bobby rubbed his weary eyes. "You going to bed?"

Alex smiled at him. "I've been catching up on some work. I'll crash pretty soon." Her hand slipped as she got to her feet, and Bobby caught her fingers in his.

She moved closer and he adjusted his grip to hold her hand more comfortably. Bobby stared into her eyes. Half of him wanted to ask her to sleep with him. The other half didn't want to burden her, wanted to send her home. So he said nothing and stared.

After a long moment of silence, Alex smiled nervously. "What is it?" she asked him.

Bobby tugged on her hand, pulling her in closer. His other hand slid past her cheek and into her hair, and he kissed her.

Alex's heart was pounding when she drew back from his lips. She tucked a curl off his forehead, nestling it in with the other swirls in his hair. "It's okay, Bobby. Everything's okay now."

She leaned down to press her lips against his forehead, and she heard him whisper, "Stay with me."

They stared into each others' eyes once more, and then Alex nodded. "Let me get changed. I'll be right back."

When she returned, she spooned him, her arm tucked carefully across his abdomen, away from his wounds. Bobby shifted and gently laid his arm over hers. Both of them settled into a peaceful sleep.

* * *

Lewis used his key to let himself in to Bobby's apartment. He looked around the living room, dining room, and kitchen, but didn't see Alex. Deciding she must have stepped out for some reason, he walked back to Bobby's room. Knocking while he opened the door, he called, "Bobby? It's me."

When the door was open far enough, he saw two bodies in the bed. Eames was already untangling from the covers to stand. Lewis shut the door quickly, crying out, "Sorry! I'm sorry, I'm sorry!"

Alex hurried out to reassure him as Bobby stirred, wondering what was going on.

"God, I'm sorry, Alex," Lewis said, turning away with his cheeks flushed red.

"Relax, Lewis, nothing happened. We were just sleeping, that's all."

"Still, if I had known."

"Hey." She put her hand on his arm and he finally met her eyes. "No harm done, okay? He asked me to sleep in there, so I did. That's all."

Lewis cleared his throat, "Oh. Uh, how is he?"

"He slept a lot, but that shouldn't be a surprise, after yesterday." She turned towards Bobby's door and scratched her head with her fingers. "I should check his bandages. Can you make a pot of coffee?"

"Sure," Lewis said.

"Be right back."

Lewis watched her return to the bedroom and then headed for the kitchen.

Bobby was struggling to his feet when she came back in. "What's going on?" he asked, with a cough.

"Lewis is here." She tucked her hands into the crook of his elbow and helped him to his feet.

"It's morning already?"

"Yeah."

"I've gotta, uh…" Bobby gestured to the bathroom.

Alex nodded and supported him as he walked to the bathroom door. She loosed her hands as he went in and leaned against the wall, waiting for him to finish. "You hungry?" she asked through the closed door.

"Yeah," he replied.

When he came out, she stopped him with her hands. Alex checked all of his bandages with a frown. "We need to change those," she said.

"After breakfast," Bobby replied. He was more alert now, and didn't want help to walk. He opened the bedroom door and walked out to the kitchen. He saw the laptop and Alex's notes on the table, but since Lewis was there, he didn't stop to read them.

"Hey, guy!" Lewis said with a smile as Bobby eased himself into a kitchen chair. "Sorry about waking you up."

Bobby waved a hand in dismissal. He was glad to be home, but it didn't change the fact that he was still recovering. He ran a hand over his hair and scratched his neglected whiskers. "You got a coffee?" he asked his friend.

Lewis turned to the machine, which wasn't quite done brewing. "Yeah. It might be strong, though." Lewis grabbed a mug and interrupted the drip cycle long enough to fill it. He put the cup in front of Bobby and replaced the decanter on the burner.

Bobby leaned over his mug and smiled. Then he took a cautious sip.

Alex followed him into the kitchen and pulled a carton of eggs from the fridge. "You eating, Lewis?"

"No, I already ate."

Alex opened the egg carton. "Good, 'cuz there's only 4 eggs in here. We need to get you some groceries, Bobby."

"I can do that," offered Lewis. "Make me a list. I'll go the shop, get things moving, then I can hit the store and come back here."

"Okay," Alex agreed with a smile. She opened Goren's junk drawer and pulled out a pen and a notepad. Alex set them in front of Bobby.

He smiled at her. "What's this?"

"You know what it is. Get to work, Mister."

Bobby smiled even bigger, and Alex's hand caressed his shoulder before she turned back to the stove.

"I'll see you in an hour or so," Lewis said, giving Bobby a gentle smack on the arm as he left.

Goren had a long list by the time the eggs were ready. Alex set his plate in front of him and read through it. Then she added a few items of her own while Bobby took a few bites.

"When Lewis comes back, I'll go to work," she said.

"I thought you were working here."

"I am, but I need to go to the office, too. Make my presence known, update my Boss so she knows I'm pulling my weight."

"Your boss is a woman?"

"Yeah. Why?"

"You've never worked for a woman before."

"So?"

"Nothing. Just an observation. How is she?"

Eames shrugged. "She's all about the bottom line. I'm not sure I like her."

"Give it some time," he advised with a timid smile. He still didn't like the idea that she wasn't at Major Case, but he had come to terms with her decision.

"You haven't eaten enough."

"I'm not hungry." The longer Goren sat in the chair, the more he was feeling the pain.

Eames saw a grimace starting on his face. "I'll get your pills."


	22. Chapter 22

Chapter 22

"I thought I would let Ms. Yancie know how my investigation is going," Eames explained.

"Right, I'll call Jeffrey for you."

"Who?"

"Jeffrey. He's an Associate Editor. You must be on to something good, because Jeffrey only bothers with the hot stuff."

"But I thought I was working with Faith Yancie."

The woman was still for a moment. "Honey, that's not how things work around here. You sit down, and I'll call Jeffrey." She didn't dial the phone until Eames had planted herself in one of the row of chairs by the receptionist's desk.

The knot was in her gut again. Alex let out a heavy sigh, then tried to maintain her composure until Jeffrey made his appearance. If Bobby were with her, this would be funny. He would poke her in the side and whisper something about the receptionist's left earring being higher than the right one, and they would have a good laugh about it later.

Eames refolded her hands in her lap and tried to think about something else.

A young man with a diamond stud in his left ear popped out of a hallway and waved to her.

"You're Jeffrey?"

He burst out laughing and put his hand over his heart. "Thank you for that, but no! Right this way."

He floated down the hall quickly and Alex followed. Near the end, he gestured to an office and was gone. Alex stepped forward slowly.

Jeffrey was on the phone. "Yeah, I heard about that already, Lacey, and that's not enough! Now you've got two hours to get me something, or we're going with the first angle. Two hours. Get it." He hung up the phone and paused, looking at Eames. He opened his hands. "And you are…?"

"Alex Eames. I'm the new… uhm… reporter…"

"Oh, yeah yeah yeah, the cop lady. What'cha got?"

"Well I've been looking into Chuck Moran's background and it seems a little fishy to me."

"Chuck…? Moran…? Who the fuck is Chuck Moran?"

"Kenny Moran's son."

"And why do I care?"

Eames sighed and rolled her eyes. She started at the beginning and told him everything she had already told Yancie.

"So what about Goren? Is he dirty?"

"What?! Absolutely not!"

"Stoat said—"

"Stoat is a lying piece of sh—" Eames stopped herself. Even if it was true, this was not the image she wanted to portray around the office. She took a breath and began again. "Stoat… is trying to implicate my partner—my former partner- to buy himself a leaner sentence."

"And Goren's not dirty."

"No." Her jaw stuck out a little, and her arms were folded tightly across her chest.

"He did coke?"

"Goren? No."

"Stoat said—"

"Mike Stoat may have started off as a good cop, but he flipped! He got caught up in the drugs and the sex and the money and he can't be trusted."

"You got proof of that?"

"NYPD does."

"Well, you get some."

"The case is with the District Attorney's office now. They can't release all the details without compromising their case."

Jeffrey folded his hands and leaned forward on his elbows. "Look, uh… Alex… this isn't the police department. We get stories here. You get me proof about Stoat, and we can spin that piece of the story for at least 3 days… buy you some time to keep looking into Chuckles."

* * *

Alex was glad to find that Bobby was sleeping when she returned. She had to get her emotions under control about this investigation, or he was going to notice. And if Bobby noticed, he was going to ask about it, and although she knew him well, Alex knew there was only so much manipulating the truth that she could get away with.

She sat down on the couch and got the laptop going again. She had to get as much done as possible while he was asleep.

* * *

She heard the creak as his door opened and she tucked her notes into her bag and closed the laptop. Running her fingers in her hair, she got to her feet with a smile. "Well, hello."

Bobby paused in his walking to offer a smile of his own. Then he continued walking carefully to join her in the living room.

"How are you feeling?" she asked.

His smile grew, and he took her hand. Bobby brought his hand up, gently pinched her chin, then brushed his thumb over her cheek. Then without a word, he went the rest of the way to the couch and slowly lowered himself to the cushion.

Alex reached in and steadied him as he sat. He was grateful for her help. He coughed a little, then took a deeper breath. "It's good to be home," he said quietly.

Her eyes smiled with his, and then she glanced at his bandages. "Those look good," she said. "You need your medicine?"

"Not yet," he answered. "It kinda… you know, makes me… dizzy." He swiveled a finger in the air to emphasize his point.

Alex nodded her understanding and sat down beside him. "Wanna watch TV?" she offered.

He touched her finger and shook his head.

Alex bit her bottom lip. She knew if he got her talking she would have a hard time keeping her secret. "What, then?" she asked quietly.

"We need to talk," he whispered.

 _Oh no_ , she thought. "Okay."

"Last night—" Bobby began.

"You were jacked up on meds and I'm taking care of you."

He stared at her a moment, a little stunned. "Oh." He blinked at her a few more times. "And…" he continued, not satisfied with her response. "And we… kissed."

Her teeth dug into her lip a little harder. "Yeah, we did," she admitted.

"Alex, if I… I don't want you to feel… pressured… about this just because I'm…"

"You think that was because I felt sorry for you?"

"Didn't y-don't you?"

"Bobby, I hate… I mean I really hate… that you're hurt. And I can't tell you how relieved I am that you're going to be all right. But I didn't kiss you because of that." Suddenly, it was a lot harder to find words. Her heart seemed to have doubled its beats. "I love you. Don't you know that by now?"

He shook his head, shocked. "Lew-Lewis said something, and I wanted to believe it but then last night and I thought about it and—" His rambling was cut short as her mouth covered his. Bobby relaxed into her softness and his hands smoothed over her back. She withdrew and he caught his breath. "I love you," he panted.

"Then it's all right," she told him.

When Bobby leaned toward her, she let him direct the kiss. He couldn't maintain it for long, but his touch was tender. He closed his eyes and rested his forehead against hers, not wanting the moment to end. They sat that way for several minutes, until Bobby started to cough.

After it stopped, she got him a glass of water and brought his pill bottle. She set the bottle on the table. "You don't have to take them yet, I'm just saving myself a trip. Are you hungry?"

He shook his head. "I ate a hot dog with Lewis."

Alex turned on the television, and as they watched, Bobby slowly leaned against her. Eventually, she shifted so he could lie with his head in her lap.


End file.
